Any Good Jokes

But they couldn't be more wrong. So far I've made two jugs and a vase.

It's a shame, I thought it would be a piece of cake.

A: "I donno man. Depends on the observing public."

Because I keep hearing the same ones over and over

I'm pining fir a new one, but they're not that poplar.

However, most zoologists disagree ;)

...a duel meaning.

You check the threads.

or do they not land well?

I know I'm supposed to have a joke here but my 3 year old is obsessed with knock knock jokes lately and I'm out. Help a dad out here

"Na."

They're all tearable.

But now i make the most beautiful vases.

'Not really' says the assistant 'It kills them'

Because all of them argon

is in the delivery.

I just know that the Titanic is not a good one.

Of course I dont, did you meet any?

Cause they were always Stalin

Everybody could tell he was a plant

I'm the master of ceremony (as Elvis) for a Vegas-themed casino night. Thanks Reddit!

I dont know but the flag is a big plus

Anti jokes are basically jokes that are so serious and deliberately not funny to the point where they are funny. Yeah its hard to explain. But I was looking for some good ones that aren't already on the anti joke website so share them if you know any.

A ketone and a primary amine walk into a bar and yell "Let's get Schiff based!"

Why couldn't the hemiacetal maintain a healthy relationship with his family?
He wasn't very stable and was never seen without alcohol.

An organic chemist wanted to reduce a ketone, but not the ... read more

Said Kim's robber.

Anyone who can run jump or swim is already across the border.

but he totally butchered them.

Sure, we've sold it to royalty


Princesses?


Mate, it prints ALL the letters!

I'm in nursing school right now and there's a competition in one of my classes for the funniest renal joke. I can't think of any! Help?

...I just can't quite seem to put my finger on it.

But I can’t see any problem now.

EVERY one of them is still in practice.

"Nope" said the man, "it will kill them."

I work at a art studio and a group of scientist booked one of our adult classes & i thought it would be fun to start the class with a science related joke. So give me your best best shot

The husband put down his newspaper and slowly answer: “Your eyesight is excellent darling”

Anyone else on the artistic spectrum?

"No," I responded, "I'm rubbish. I usually get someone else to do it for me."

\**borrowed and modified from someone's comment in /r/Britishproblems*

I'll be back.

. . . Any good tips with dealing with pepper spray?

Jokes as in "why did the chicken cross the road" not as in "live wasps".

So I took a shower earlier today and left my 2 year old son in the living room with the TV on thinking he would be ok. I come out 20 minutes later and he covered the entire living room in green permanent marker that he somehow got a hold of. As you can imagine, I flipped out and immediately ran to... read more

I'm doing some work for an organization and they requested some jokes about real estate. So far, I'm having a really difficult time coming up with good jokes :(. But my work said I'm allowed to ask Reddit for help. So if anyone can help me out, that would be much appreciated!

He’s a small nerdy account type, and he’s met at the pearly gates by St Peter.

“Welcome,” says St Peter, opening a large book. “This book lists all the good things and bad things you did in your life. If you did more good than bad, you get to come in.”

“Sounds fair,” says the ma... read more

...and stumbles to the bartender. “Barkeep, Oi’ll have a point”, he slurs.

The bartender looks him over critically. “A pint? Sorry sir, but I can’t serve you. You’re clearly too drunk.”

The Irish man scrunches his eyebrows, peers at the barkeep, turns around and trips out the front doo... read more

.....and asked, "May I buy you a drink?" "Okay," she said, "but it won't do you any good." A little later he asks, "May I buy you another drink?" "Okay," she says again, "but it won't do you any good." He invites her up to his apartment and she replies, "Okay, but you know it won't do you any good."... read more