UPJOKE

And Good Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

SEX AND GOOD GRAMMAR

On his 70th birthday, a man was given a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate was for consultation with an Indian medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a simple cure for erectile dysfunction. The husband went to the reservation and saw the medicine man....

My friend told me about a wonder food that he discovered that contains protein, fiber, and good fats

"That's nuts!" I exclaimed.

What's the similarity between free healthcare and good jokes?

Americans don't get them.

Bad boy and good girl (long)

So a guy decides he wants to date this girl. He finds out that she's quite prudish but he's willing to look past that because she's really, really pretty. After constantly asking her, she finally agrees to go out with him. One date leads to another and soon they have a steady thing going. He wants ...

After the iceberg collision, the captain of the Titanic gathers the crew and tells them "I have bad news and good news."

"The bad news is that our ship has began to sink.

The good news is that we shall win eleven Academy Awards."

What have good cops and good prisoners in common?

They both get released early for good behaviour.

Smart thoughts and good ideas were following John wherever he went...

But that dumbass was always faster!

Why are elevator jokes so classic and good?

They work on many levels.

My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant and have a little wine and good food.

She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

I have bad news and good news. My obese parrot died yesterday. However, there is some good news.

It’s a lot of weight off my shoulders.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A person needs two things for a good life: good tea and good puns...

Without them, you've just got a shit-tea life.

Eddie Murphy once said a good joke needs two things; proper timing and good execution.

That must be why all the Jeffery Epstein jokes are only half funny.

What’s the difference between bad karma and good karma?

You get bad karma from stealing other people’s belongings. You get Reddit karma from stealing other people’s jokes.

Two trustworthy, reliable and good politicians walk down a flight of stairs

Trump says to Putin:

"Also taking the elevator today?"

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.