UPJOKE

An Innocent Man Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. šŸ¤”

An innocent man is given a life sentence. (NSFWish)

The guards take him to his cell, where he finds out that his bunkmate is about twice his size, with a mean mug and a menacing demeanor. As the innocent man is settling in, the inmate says, "Alright, since I'm feeling generous today, I'm gonna give you the option. You wanna be the wife or the husband...

"Your honor, it is said that people are what they eat...

And therefore my client is an innocent man!"

An innocent man was killed by a vampire hunter.

It was a terrible mistake.

During the trial, he was accused of being a cannibal, but he knew he was an innocent man.

After all, you are what you eat.

A cannibal is on trial for murder and cannibalism...

He's called up to the witness stand and the prosecutor asks him if he pleads guilty or innocent.
"Innocent!" he says.
The prosecutor asks him to prove it.
The cannibal answers, "Well, you are what you eat, right? So I am an innocent man!"

A man stands before a judge for his trial

Judge: Alright, what are the charges.

Defendant: Your honor, I am an innocent man. My only crime is doing my Christmas shopping early.

Judge: That's certainly not illegal. Out of curiosity, how early were you shopping.

Defendant: 3 hours before the store opened.

A man and his lawyer walk into the courtroom and stand before the judge.

The judge asks "What does the defendant plea?"

The lawyer replies "Your honor, my client pleads trans-guilty."

The judge has a puzzled look on his face.

Lawyer: "He identifies himself as an innocent man."

This joke may contain profanity. šŸ¤”

The Tale of Kevin Bopper

Back in high school there was this kid named Kevin Bopper. He was... strange, to say the least. He was that quiet kid with long, greasy, dandruff-ridden hair, a face full of acne, and wore a leather jacket- you know the type. The thing that made him stand out, however, was his weird fixation on traf...

Bob was a good man

He didn't take any drugs, he had never cheated on his wife, he had never even gotten drunk.

One day, he got promoted at work and went out with some friends, he assured his wife that he would not get drunk, just non-alcoholic beer.

Bob's friends had gotten really drunk and managed to co...

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