The monkey jumps on the counter and gobbles up a bowl of peanuts.
The bartender asked the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
The guy replied, "Yeah, he does that all the time. He's always hungry. I'll pay for the peanuts", and hands the bartender a buck. The bartender clinks...
Why are Asian brides always so satisfied?
Because when ever you eat Chinese you're always hungry an hour later.
I'm currently on two different diets
Because with just one I'm always hungry
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