UPJOKE
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At the end of the day, we’re all human beans

Together we will rice. Now lettuce pray. Ramen.

Long after the death of all humans, a group of aliens come to Earth.

The first thing they find? A Nokia phone still on half battery and in working condition.

If all humans held hands around the equator of Earth

A significant amount of then would probably drown.

A sufficiently advanced society has synthesized all human knowledge

in pill form. So an undergraduate goes to the drug store and asks the pharmacist if he has history, economics, and literature. The pharmacist disappears into the back. When he returns, he has three little boxes and says

"Here, take this purple one for all of human history—from the origins all...

A catholic man dies and goes to Heaven, there he learns that "lie clocks" exist for all humans...

A man is greeted by St. Peter, he quickly notices there are many objects that look like clocks attached to the walls.

St. Peter explains that every time a person tells a lie, the hand on their clocks spins just a little faster.

As he walks through the hallway, he sees mother Teresa's c...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A sex addict, an alcoholic and a pot head die and arrive at the gates of heaven.

Jesus is standing there looking at them sternly he says, " I stand at these gates to judge the souls that have passed on. If you do not deserve to enter heaven then you will be cast to the fire filled depths of hell where you will spend all eternity in agony."

The three sinners knowing the l...

A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence.

"My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans”

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