UPJOKE

All Ears Jokes

Need your advice

Grew up with very large ears and have always been conscious of them.

Couldn’t afford to get Otoplasty so I signed up for an experimental procedure that involved growing a new pair of ears on my body which would replace the old ones with a much more affordable surgical “cut and stitch” proced...

A corn stalk sits down at a bar.

The bartender says, “Want to hear a corny joke?”

The corn stalk replies, “I’m all ears!”

What’s the best farm crop to vent to?

Corn. They’re all ears.

"It's a long tale" said the fox

"I'm all ears" said the elephant

A corn farmer asked his field "are you listening?"

To which the field responded "I'm all ears"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Billy arrived at his new job, the local garden center/general store.

Mr Howard said "Just watch how I interact with the customers, Billy, and follow my lead. We need to upsell."

"Ok," says Billy, "I'm all ears."

A man walks in and mills around the store for a while, then comes up to the counter with a packet of grass seeds.

Mr Howard engages the ...

Amazing Really

A man spills a new RNA virus on himself and immediately begins turning into corn. He rushes into the doctors office and says "help me doc, can you do something about it?!"

The doctor says, "I have a theory on what we can do".

The man says, "I'm all ears."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did a therapist say to Beethoven?

>!I am all ears.!<

I asked a Chernobyl survivor if he wanted to listen to a fun story,

He said he was all ears.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife always complains when I use her toothbrush

If somebody can tell me of a better way of getting shit stains off the back of the toilet bowl I'm all ears.


-Jimmy Carr

Why are cornfields the best listeners?

They're all ears

Anyone care to explain how some jokes can be corny?

I'm all ears.

Me: Do you want to hear the cruel things people are saying about you?

Elephant Man: I'm all ears.

Me: Yes, that's one of them.

If anyone knows how to correct cosmetic surgery that's gone horribly wrong?

I'm all ears.

These pieces of corn can't hear me,

but they're all ears.

If you want your wife to listen to you...

...just talk to another woman. She'll be all ears.

I asked Dumbo what career options he would pursue, when the circus shut down, and if he would consider interesting opportunities

He said, "I don't know, but I'm all ears"

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