A woman goes to an AA meeting, introduces herself, "I've been through three relationships now and I just can't handle it anymore. My pussy is killing me." Someone interrupts and says, "I'm sorry, what does this have to do with your problem with alcohol?"
"What problem with alcohol? I just can't seem to give up the hard lickers!"
Harrison Ford just turned up at my AA meeting
I've never seen Han So low
What were the last words of the fish at the AA meeting?
"Hello, I'm the fish and I'm dry."
I cheated on my wife with a girl I met at a mundane AA meeting.
It was a sober affair.
AA meeting: "Hi I'm Chad and I've been sober for forty days"
"Not in a row or anything, just total."
An Irishman walks into an AA meeting.
A circus ringleader and his wife were living with their main act, an alcoholic chimpanzee
The chimpanzee would always do the same thing every day: find the liquor cabinet, drink a few bottles, screech and destroy things for a few hours, and then pass out in a random spot for the rest of the day.
The wife could not stand the chimp, but the ringmaster did not have enough money to f...
Why did the 9V battery get kicked out of church?
Because they were holding an AA Meeting
A drunk goes in a bar and asks for a shot of Jim Beam.
The bartender pours it and the drunk pushes it aside and asks for another shot of Jim Beam. The bartender pours it and the drunk drinks it. The bartender says, "I watched what you did and I don't understand why you pushed the first one away and drank the second one!" The drunk stated," I've been goi...
My dad’s favorite saying is “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”
He is not allowed to host AA meetings anymore.
Signs you drink too much coffee
- You answer the door before people knock.
- Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
- You ski uphill.
- You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
- You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
- You lick your coffeepot clean.
- You're the employee of ...
These batteries were dealing with an alkaline problem, I had to take them to
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
The following are all signs that you are a drunk. They include, but are not limited to...
- You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
- You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
- Your job interferes with your drinking.
- Your doctor finds traces...