I have an idea for a sitcom about a salt water fish and fresh water fish that start a family.
It’s called “Brackish”.
What do you call a firearm made out of salt?
A salt rifle.
My dad is a rugged ex-Marine with a salt-and-pepper beard...
He's a seasoned veteran.
I got knocked off my bike by a salt spreading truck last winter.
"You IDIOT" I shouted through gritted teeth.
I was supposed to go to a Salt N Pepa concert next week.
But because of the coronavirus they decided to push it.
Did you hear about the chef that threw salt in a person's eyes, followed by dumping a bowl of batter over his head?
He was charged with a salt and battering
What do you call a salt water duck?
A saltine quacker.
Officer! That guy threw sodium chloride at me!
Police officer: That's a salt!
I got knocked off my bike last night by a lunatic driving a salt lorry through deep snow. You complete idiotic moron I shouted
Through gritted teeth
What was the chef arrested for?
>!For a salt and batter!<
Breaking News: Local man hit his wife with a power cell which had its top and bottom coated in electrolytes
He has been arrested for a salt-end battery.
Two Peanuts are walking into a bar...
One was a salted
Why were the French fries in a victim support group?
Because they were a salted.
A man walks to a woman and asks…
“Excuse me ma’am but could I offer you a bit of sodium chloride?” To which the woman replies, “Get away from me, that’s a salt!”
Why did the salami fill out a police report?
Because it was a salted meat.
Why was the peanut afraid to go to central park?
It was a salted
What do you have if you have NaCl and NiCd?
A salt and battery.
What do you call a molecule of sodium carrying a gun?
A salt with a deadly weapon
Heart disease is the leading killer in America
We need a salt weapon ban.
Did you hear about the peanut that walked into the police station?
It claims it was a salted.
A trucker stops at a red light and a blonde catches up to him.
She knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."
The trucker just ignores her, the light changes, and he proceeds down the street.
At the next light, the blonde again catches up and says, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing som...
I heard Sodium Chloride was charged with a felony!
Yes, it was a salt!
Chemistry Jokes
Me :Is it a crime to throw Sodium Chloride at a woman? Judge: Yes, that's assault Me: I know it's a salt but is it a crime?
Just found out one of the ladies who sang "Push It" has Parkinson's
She's a Salt-N-Pepa shaker now
Luigi got arrested for shoplifting at the grocery store.
He was charged with a salt and a battery.
A miser tried to shoplift for a few smaller items
She was arrested for a salt and battery
You know what makes a good gift for someone convicted of violence?
A salt lamp!
Why did the neuron go to jail?
Because he was charged with a salt.
A college girl was found dead in her bathtub...
She decided to take a bath after a long day of testing. Unbeknownst to her, her roommate had a fetish of putting a 9-volt battery in the bath to give herself a small electric shock.
This time, however, she left it in the tub. The college girl decided she wanted to put some soothing bath salts...
What do cops use pepper spray for?
A salt!
what do you call sodium chloride crossed with a poisonous writing utensil from out the sea
a salt with a deadly wetpen
*hides*
I recently bought a gun
It can only shoot NaCl bullets because it's a salt rifle.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
The gym teacher gets a handgun, the janitor gets a shot gun, and the principal gets an uzi. What do they arm the lunch lady with?
A salt rifle
A bunch of cations walk into a bar that is notorious for only serving anions.
This precipitated many a salts and batteries.
Horrible thing happened on the way home
Last night I was driving home and remembered that my remote for the TV had an issue. The batteries were bad and leaked acid on the springs so I always use salt water to clean the connectors and I needed new batteries - so I make a pit stop at 7-11 get the container of salt and a few double A batteri...
Why do slugs carry pepper spray when they go out late at night?
To protect themselves from a salt
A scientist built a robot but unbeknownst to him, the battery was damaged.
The only way to fix the battery was to sprinkle it with sodium chloride. Some chemical reaction with the combination of battery acid and sodium chloride caused the robot to act highly irrationally and attack the scientist, at which point the robot had to be detained by police.
The robot was c...
What charges can you expect when you mix sodium chloride and lithium ion?
A salt and battery charges.
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