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A Rabbi And A Priest Jokes

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A rabbi and a priest wanted to go for a swim at the beach, but did not have bathing suits with them...

The priest turns to the rabbi and says "why don't we just swim naked, there's no one around, and we'll keep it between ourselves".

The rabbi sees no problem with the idea, and agrees.

Once naked, the rabbi and the priest start walking towards the water, when suddenly out of nowhere see...

A Rabbi And A Priest Get Into A Huge Car Accident

After both of them crawl out of their cars, the rabbi looks and the priest and says:

"Look at that! Both of our cars are completely demolished, and yet here we are alive and well! This must be a sign from God that we should become good friends!"

The Priest, looking at the total wrecka...

A mullah a rabbi and a priest walk into a bar in new york.

Bartender says: What's this some kind of joke?

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A rabbi and a priest are out for a walk through the park.

It's a hot summer day and as they pass by a pond, the rabbi suggest taking a bath to cool down a little.
The priest is hesitant at first, but since they're at a remote spot with noone around, he agrees.

Just as they have finished taking off their robes a group of ladies is jogging by. ...

A rabbi and a priest get into a car accident and it's a bad one

Both cars are totally demolished, but, amazingly, neither of the clerics is hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the rabbi sees the priest's collar and says, "So you're a priest. I'm a rabbi. Just look at our cars. There's nothing left, but we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God. God must ...

A rabbi and a priest

A rabbi and a priest meet up after a year not seeing each other.

The rabbi goes: "Man, you've put on some weight since last time!"

Priest: "Yeah I know, it is a new technique I came up with. You go to a restaurant, eat as much as you can. When the bill comes, you tell them you already ...

An old one: A rabbi and a priest go golfing, but the rabbi keeps missing his shots.

Whenever this happens, he angrily exclaims, “Goddammit, I missed!” At each hole, the rabbi swears, and at each hole, the priest shakes his head. Finally, on the final hole, the exasperated priest declares, “Rabbi, if you continue with this disrespect for the Lord’s name, so help me, may He strike yo...

A rabbi and a priest are discussing their dreams

"I dreamt of the jewish heaven the other night" says the priest "It was horrible, a slum overflowing with people! It was chaos, I tell you, all the people talking and walking around! And making so much noise... Thank God I woke up from that nightmare!"

"Interesting" says the rabbi "The other ...

A Rabbi and a Priest are found asking for money outside of a Church.

The Rabbi was wearing old, tattered clothes; the Priest was wearing nice, elegant clothing. Everyone was giving the priest money and the Rabbi didn't get any money. After a few hours, a young Jewish man walks by and says to the Rabbi, "Why are you asking for money in front of a Church? Nobody will g...

A Rabbi and a Priest were having a picnic

A Rabbi and a Priest were having a picnic on a really hot summer day and wanted to dip in the river to cool off. They had not thought to bring bathing suits, so decided to skinny dip instead.

The river was flowing rapidly and both clergy were washed a short distance downstream before getting ...

A Rabbi and a Priest

A rabbi and a priest are in the same compartment on a train. They exchange pleasantries and are having a conversation about the differences in their religions.

The Priest asks the Rabbi if he has ever tried pork. The Rabbi says that yes, when he was younger he tried pork. Then the Rabbi as...

A Rabbi and a Priest run out of a burning school.

The Priest stops and says,"What about the children?"

The Rabbi replies,"Screw the children!"

The Priest asks,"Do you think we have time?"

A rabbi and a priest

A rabbi and a priest were at a communal dinner when a dish of roast pork was served.

The priest leaned into the rabbi's ear and whispered, "You planning on eating that buddy?"

The rabbi chuckled and replied, "Not today. But I'm definitely planning to have some at your wedding."

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A Rabbi and a Priest are talking.

They are arguing about whose religion is better.

Then, the priest goes to the rabbi, ‘Admit it, you’ve tried pork.’ The rabbi tells him that he hasn’t. The priest carries on asking him until eventually the rabbi admits it. He says, ‘Yeah I’ll admit it, I’ve tried it once. But now you admit so...

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A rabbi and a priest are asking for charity outside of a church...

They are standing one next to the other as the congregation is exiting mass. They look at the Rabbi with disdain and give more money to the priest.

Until one guy sees the rabbi hasn’t collected any money and decides to help him out “Rabbi, why don’t you try asking for charity outside of a s...

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A rabbi and a priest are in a burning building with a bunch of children

Rabbi: Let's get out of here

Priest: What about the kids?

Rabbi: Fuck the kids!

Priest: Do we have time?

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A rabbi and a priest rush out of a flaming orphanage

As they run out, they hear some orphans screaming.

"Should we go save the children?" the priest yells.

"Fuck the children!" the rabbi replies.

"Do we have time?".

A rabbi and a priest

Were good friends. One day the preist asked the rabbi if he could fill in for him for confessions. The rabbi said that he would do it just he needs some lessons on how to do it. So the priest told him to come over and he would show him how. the rabbi comes over and sits down with the priest. The fir...

A rabbi and a priest are old friends.

One day, the priest comes over to the rabbi and says “Rabbi, I’m going on vacation. Can you take over for me for a few days? All you gotta do is hear confessions.”

The rabbi looks worried and says he doesn’t know how. So the priest takes the rabbi into the confessional to show him.

A ...

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A Rabbi and a Priest in a burning school

As they were running for their lives the priest noticed a group of kids who were stuck and went to help them.

The Rabbi said “Fuck the kids”

The priest stopped and looked behind him as flames engulfed the hall way and said “Do you think we have time”?

A rabbi and a priest go for a walk

A rabbi and a priest go for a walk on a hot summer day. They come by a river and the rabbi suggests to take a bath. The priest is hesitant as he doesn't have any swimwear with him, however the rabbi convinces him to jump in just like God made him.
Both swim for a while and once refreshed, they la...

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A Rabbi and a Priest...

..are walking down the road, they spot a little boy sitting on the side of the road playing with his toy cars...

the priest looks at the rabbi and says "hey....see that little boy? lets fuck him..."

The rabbi raises an eyebrow at the priest "Out of what, he has nothing!"

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what do you get when you cross a rabbi and a priest....

two severely mangled corpses. i mean seriously Steve, WTF did you think was going to happen. Your a middle manager at a hardware store. you dont know the first thing about human anatomy. Jesus Christ DUDE. were going to jail for this. Were going to fucking prison man. you got an arm stapled to a ...

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