UPJOKE

A Line Of Jokes

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Tampax have announced a line of festive tampons…

It’s for the Christmas period only though

What do you call a line of men waiting for a haircut?

A Barbecue.

What do you call a line of men waiting for a haircut and then stepping back when the door opens…

A receding hair line.

How to call a line of people waiting to buy the new Barbie doll at a toy store?

Barbecue

OC - I saw a line of delivery scooters parked out the front of a pizza place.

Someone bumped into one of them and it topples over, and knocks down the next one, which knocks down the next one, and the next one.

It was the Domino's effect.

The William Shatner wanted to start up a line of female underwear.

Unfortunately "Shatner Panties" wasnt the greatest brand name.

A man walks into a bar and there is a line of people waiting to punch him

That's the punch line.

What's it called when a red head snorts a line of coke?

A ginger rail.

What do you call a line of rabbits hopping backwards?

A receding hare line

What do you say to let lose a line of lonely letters?

"Cue the queue of Qs!"

At the pearly gates, a line of people wait to get into heaven. St Peter asks “what did you do for a living?”

The first man says “I was a doctor. I made sure people were healthy and saved lives a few times.”

St Peter says “great, come on in” and waves him through the gates.

The second man says “I was a bartender. It may not sound glamorous, but I listened to people talk about their problems a...

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A Muslim started a line of sex toys ...

He specializes in blow up dolls.

I want to start a line of camouflage condoms

The slogan will be *”You’ll never see them coming!”*

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A line of four recently-deceased souls lines up at the gates of Heaven, awaiting their judgement...

St. Peter addressed the first man in line. “While you were alive all you cared about was getting drunk. You loved alcohol so much that you married a woman named Brandy.” St. Peter promptly turned the man away.
To the second man St. Peter said, “While you were alive the only thing you truly cared...

Tesla is considering releasing a line of electric buses named after Egyptian gods.

It'll be A-new-bus.

Did you hear the one about Jerry Lewis launching a line of clothes for frat boys?

He became a nutty 'bro dresser'

The Tempur-pedic Mattress company has come out with a line of breast implants...

...They're mammary foam.

A man was in a line of patients trying to get his release from a mental institution.

He watched as the others went in to meet with the doctor and heard the questions the doctor asked, which were:


"point to your right arm", "point to your stomach", point to your toes", point to your knee," and so on. He saw which answers were correct, and which answers were wrong.

...

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The Smith family name gets its origin from a line of blacksmiths. The Cobbler family name get its origin from a line of shoe repairmen.

What the hell was going on with the Dickinson family?

If Elon Musk released a line of fragrances they would probably call it..

Tesla for Men or something like that

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My gf asked me if she could snort a line of cocaine on my erect dick,

I got so weirded out by this demand of hers that I had to dickline it.

Faucet manufacturer Pfister is expanding their business with a line of high tech toilets

The p is silent.

What's the difference between a line of naked women and a magician?

Well, the magician has a cunning array of stunts...

What do you call a line of people gathered to roast Justin Bieber?

Bieberqueue.

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What do you call a line of homosexuals?

An LGBT queue.

Three blondes were taking a walk in the country when they came upon a line of tracks.

The first blonde said, "Those must be deer tracks!"

The second blonde said, "No, stupid, anyone can tell those are rabbit tracks!"

The third blondie said, "No, you idiots, those are horse tracks!"

They where still arguing ten minutes later when a train hit them.

To show off how wealthy he was, I saw a guy inhale a line of 24K gold dust

It was really Au inspiring.

Whats a line of Barbies called?

A barbiequeue

A man is pulling a line of string along a sidewalk

A woman asks him as he walks near, "Excuse me, why are you pulling that string along?"

The man replies, "Have you ever tried to push a string?"

What do you call a line of iron cats?

A Feline...

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Apple wanted to introduce a line of phones specifically for children.

But they scrapped it, 'ITouch Kids' just didn't seem right.

Heard this somewhere a while back. Don't think it was here. Thought you guys might like it.

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[NSFW] Did I ever tell you guys about my idea for a line of sex toys marketed towards sleazy women?

I'm calling it "Toys for Thots."

I made a line of soda called Bad Wifi

It's not doing so well, everyone keeps saying it isn't refreshing.

When I'm stressed I like to draw a line of trees, getting smaller as they reach the horizon

It really puts things in perspective

Did you hear about the guy who needed to snort a line of baking soda every day?

He was basically addicted.

I hear Apple have released a line of people movers

They call it Ivan

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A guy goes to Las Vegas to gamble and he loses all his money.

He doesn't even have enough for a cab, but he flagged one down anyway. He explained to the driver that he would pay him back next time and gave him his phone number, but the driver told him, "Get the fuck out of my cab."

He walked all the way to the airport and got home.

Some times ro...

A man starts a line of pickled venison ...

...the most popular flavor so far is dill doe.

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