A Bunch Of Jokes - 123 Hilarious A Bunch Of Jokes

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A pervert watched a bunch of numbers have an orgy through a window

Some were 69ing, 7 ate 9's ass, you get the picture.

After a while they started to cum in descending order (20, 19, 18, etc.) until 2 came and saw the perv in the window. He got scared and ran away, never looking back.

He never saw that one coming.

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Why does Gordon Ramsay hate seeing a bunch of cute pet pictures?

Cause it's fucking r/aww!

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I got drunk and to impress a girl, I swallowed a bunch of scrabble tiles.

My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.

**EDIT: WOW, thanks for all the love on this post. It’s my first post in JOKES where I didn’t get ripped a new butthole for allegedly stealing/reposting. Thanks Reddit!**

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A car full of Irish nuns is sitting at a traffic light in downtown Dublin, when a bunch of rowdy drunks pull up alongside of them.

"Hey, show us yer tits, ya bloody penguins !" shouts one of the drunks.
Quite shocked, Mother Superior turns to Sister Mary Immaculata and says, "I don't think they know who we are. Show them your cross."

Sister Mary Immaculata rolls down her window and shouts, "Piss off, ya fookin' little...

What do you call a bunch of employees caught sleeping on the job?

A Dream Team.

I was hit by a truck carrying a bunch of Omega 3 capsules

It’s okay, I only sustained super fish oil injuries

I saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching

To reverse and leaving the scene

What do you call a bunch of snakes in a suit?

No, seriously... I'm new at this job and I don't know how to address an email to the CEO.

A plane is full of a bunch of Redditors...

And suddenly a man starts having a heart attack. One of the flight attendants (who frequents r/AskReddit) notices this and quickly shouts: “People of the plane, we’re having an emergency! Is anyone on this plane a doctor?”

Immediately, five people stand up and all say, “I’m not a doctor, but…...

What do you say when a bunch of cows eat a ton of weed?

“The steaks are high.”

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Sadly I think my family are a bunch of racists.

I started dating a black girl recently, so I decided to bring her home to meet the family.

The kids wouldn't talk to her and my wife told me to pack my bags and leave.

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A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy

A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy and bring him back to their camp to meet the chief. The chief says to the cowboy, "You going to die. But we sorry for you, so give you one wish a day for three days. On sundown of third day, you die. What is first wish?"
The cowboy thinks for a moment and then...

Carnival is offering a new voyage where you set sail and leave a bunch of senior citizens behind in the snow.

It's called a Ted Cruise

I was teaching a bunch of black teenagers about slavery.

None of them liked the concept, but their grandparents were sold on the idea.

What do you call a bunch of crows that just earned a BS in Biology?

First Degree Pre-med Murder.

Sorry in advance. I'm in the middle of studying criminal law for the bar and know this is super dumb.

I bought a bunch of oranges and spelled "hi" with them.

I was then told that was *not* how you say "HI" in Mandarin....

A guy walks into a bar and sees a bunch of meat hanging on the wall.

He sits down and asks the bartender what the deal is with the meat. Bartender says the deal is if you want a free drink you gotta jump up and touch the meat but if you miss, you buy a round for the bar. The guy takes another look at the meat and the bartender asks if he's in. No, says the guy the...

I heard a bunch of Chinese people chanting "We want rights! We want rights!"

They must be scared of the dark or something.

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Got a job working with a bunch of Emo kids. It's depressing, they're always going on about dying, they look terrible with their white skin, and complain about how shit their life is.

Sorry not Emo kids......Chemo kids..

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What do you get for spending four years with a bunch of virgins?

A slice of blue cake!!!

I saw this guy running down the road with a bunch of monsters. When I asked him what he was doing he said:

I’m exercising my demons.

I dreamt of a bunch of hippos attending university…

They’re still there in my hippocampus

No joke, Dubai spent billions on a bunch of man-made islands and they are now sinking.

I guess all the money in the world can't help erect-isle dysfunction

A Muslim guy just walked into my store and bought a bunch of fog machines. So I called the cops.

He must belong to an extreme mist organization.

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A cowboy sees a bunch of American Indians on the horizon and thinks: ''I'm fucked...'', but a voice in the back of his head says: ''Not so fast! Kill the chief!!!''

''What?! Why?'' - thinks the cowboy.

''Just kill the chief!'' - says the voice.

The cowboy hesitated a bit more and than drew his gun and shot the chief.

As the chief was falling from his horse the voice in the cowboy's head said: ''*Now* you're fucked...''

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What do you call a bunch of ugly people in a flying car having an orgy because they feel sorry for each other?

A shitty pity gang bang.

Saw a bunch of dead crows in the woods the other day.

Must have been a murder suicide.

What do you call a bunch of Karen's up a tree?

A Country.

What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?

The NBA

I had to leave my cat at the vet for observation after she swallowed a bunch of dimes...

I called to see how she was doing and the vet said there was no change yet..

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What do you call a bunch of cows masterbating?

Beef Stroganoff

I accidentally swallowed a bunch of scrabble tiles...

My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.

I stuffed a bunch of blunts into the holes of a foam shoe and brought it to the party.

Sure I was popular, but I wish someone would have explained to me what a crockpot was before I came.

What do you call a bunch of hedge funds that already lost $70 B shorting stocks?

A good start. HOLD the LINE.

Why was princess Zelda sad after watching a bunch of YouTube videos?

She couldn't find the link in the description.

A bunch of functions are drinking in bar...

When someone yells "A differential is coming!" All the functions panic and try to hide, except e^x . One of the functions asked "e^x , why aren't you hiding from the differential?" To which it responded "I'm e^x , a differential can't do anything to me!" At that point, the differential walked in and...

A bunch of different people are talking about their kinks and fetishes...

... The guy with a somnophilia kink looks to another guy and asks him for his thoughts on CNC. The guy who likes watersports turns to him and says, "Nah, not my cup of pee."

Months ago I ordered a bunch of art....

From a really cool lithography studio, but none of it has arrived yet. I just have to hope that someday my prints will come.

Why is it that when a guy sleeps with a bunch of girls he is a player...

But when a girl sleeps with a bunch of guys i'm not one of them?

A bunch of Russian labourers are building a fence

and one of them goes to the foreman and says "Foreman, I have a problem. I just opened this packet of nails and all the heads are on the wrong end."

"Idiot!" yells the foreman. "Those nails are for the other side of the fence!"

What do you call a bunch of dead bodies in the streets of Tiananmen Square?

Your imagination

I heard a bunch of former soviet space engineers started an 80's cover band...

they called themselves Buran Buran

A bunch of people walk into a restaurant...

I'm going to miss the Apollo app, it made Reddit worthwhile.

It's interesting how different a US president looks at the end of their presidency. Obama had gray hair. Bush had a bunch of wrinkles..

At the end of JFKs presidency, half of his head was missing.

A bunch of politicians were on a road trip...

....when their bus rolled over into a ditch. The top collapsed and killed a number of them, leaving the rest to die of their injuries. A farmer was the first on the scene and of course called 911 to report the accident.

About 30 minutes later, the local sheriff rolled up with an ambulance to...

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Today i saw a bunch of priests gang-banging

Holy Fuck!

A person is walking down the street and hears a bunch of people in a fenced-in yard shouting, "19! 19! 19! 19!"

Curious, he walks over and looks through a hole in the fence. Someone from the other side pokes him in the eye and they all start shouting "20! 20! 20!"

Told a joke to a bunch of bugs

And I’ll heard was crickets…

Whats better than a bunch of roses on your piano?

Tulips on your organ

A zookeeper walks into a restaurant with a bunch of animals...

The waiter exclaims, "This is totally unacceptable!"

The zookeeper responds, "But why?"

The waiter breathes a deep sigh and says, "Well, first of all, we need to address the elephant in the room..."

I bought a bunch of shares of Old McDonald's farm.

I'm now the
#C-I-E-I-O

What do you get when you meet a bunch of amicable Hungarian musicians?

A Franz Liszt

What do you get when you combine a carpenter with a bunch of fishermen?

A shepherd!

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One night at a local bar frequented by a bunch of deer hunters who were waiting for the opening day of deer season…..

the local sheriff scoped out the joint for possible drunk drivers.
As he waited, eventually a patron stumbled out of the bar, fumbled for his keys, tried them in three different cars until he finally found his, got inside and rested his head on the steering wheel. The deputy knew he had his drunk...

A bunch of different birds are chilling in a large group when

Another type of bird comes out of nowhere. "sorry lads I've just arrived from europe!" says the bird,

"Ukraine?" askes another. "Nah mate I'm a pelican"

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Why did the clown take a bunch of laxatives?

For shits and giggles.

What's the best way to single-handledly kill a bunch of communists?

Communism

My kid asked if we are a bunch of pyromaniacs

I said, "yes, we arson."

Had a bunch of missed calls yesterday...

They were from my buddy Mike complaining he was sore all over.

I think I missed Mike ache day.

Why did the general throw a bucket of water over a bunch of soldiers?

Cause he wanted to wash his privates.

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I was running late after playing a round of golf, so I left my clubs with my friend, stuffed a bunch of the balls in my pants pockets and got on a bus...

I sat down next to a beautiful blonde and she kept looking at me and my bulging pockets.

Finally, after many puzzled glances from her, I said, "It's golf balls."

The blonde continued to look at me for a very long time, thinking deeply about what I had said.

Finally, unable to co...

I once attached a bunch of watches together to make a belt...

I'll admit it was a waist of time.

What do you call a bunch of janitors who made a band?

The bleach boys.

If you put a bunch of Bored Apes in a room

They’ll eventually churn out a Shakespeare NFT

I was accosted by a bunch of perverts on the subway...

I had to beat them off.

I asked a priest why I couldn't just say a bunch of Hail Marys before committing a sin

Apparently the church isn't a fan of anything Pre-Marytal

Why were a bunch of kangaroos arrested?

Because they were involved in gangaroo activity.

I heard there were a bunch of break-ins over at the car park.

That is wrong on so many levels.

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A bunch of thieves broke into my house and stole everything except my soap, shower gel, towels, toothbrush and deodorant.

Dirty bastards

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They are a bunch of royal bitches!

I ran into a man at a pub near Buckingham palace. I watched in amazement, as he pounded down pint after pint, so I decided I would find out more about him.

I sat down next to him, and I offered to buy him the next pint. He agreed, and I took the opportunity to ask him why he was drinking so h...

What do you call it if a bunch of people in comas drown in a hot tub?

Vegetable stew.

Not mine, and yes I know it's tasteless.

Probably as tasteless as the stew.

What do you call a bunch of zombies dressed as Superheroes?

The Necro Comic-Con

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how do you keep a bunch of Assholes in suspense?

I'll tell ya'll tomorrow

I decided to shoot up a bunch of kids today

I always feel so good giving out free coronavirus vaccines…

A bunch of Romans walk into a bar in Rome, one Roman holds up two fingers to the barman..

“5 beers”.

What do you call a bunch of rabbits walking backwards?

A receding hare line.

Happy Easter

A bunch of stoners were tasked with the job of inventing a new sport...

The result was just a bunch of misshapen llamas playing football.
When they asked the group of stoners why they decided this to be the new sport, they replied "we were just sitting there in silence for a long time and then someone said "alpaca bowl""

If you see a bunch of big black birds

Don't automatically assume it's a murder of crows.

You can't have a murder without probable caws.

Tom Hanks took a bunch of pictures of trees and submitted them for picture of the year.

One forest won.

What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!

My mother recently passed away, and my aunt and cousins are a bunch of reprobates.

Isn't that what you call them when they're trying to contest the will?

A bunch of inmates have been in the same cells for years

A newcomer is escorted to a cell by three heavily armed guards. As his eyes adjust to the darkness, he notices he has a cellmate. All of a sudden, someone shouts, "71!" Everybody in the prison starts cracking up.

The newcomer asks his cellmate why they were all laughing. He responds, "After a...

A Kamikaze pilot is teaching a bunch of students and he says...

“Look carefully I’m only going to do this once”

Bought my wife a bunch of flowers for Mother's Day.

She said "I suppose you expect me to spread my legs for these?"

I replied "why? Haven't you got a vase big enough?"

And that's how I ended up at the ER.

What did a bunch of boisterous bulimics order at the restaurant?

I don't remember, but I told them to keep it down.

I saw a bunch of old people protesting outside of Chick-fil-A...

They were raising canes.

What do you call a bunch of dead puppies on the side of the road?

A LITTER

I told a bunch of Africans a joke about food yesterday but nobody was laughing

I guess they just don't get it

A cow accidentally ate a bunch of marijuana leaves

and the steaks were quite high

What do you call a bunch of lawyers buried up to their necks in sand?

Not enough sand.

I got a bunch of really cheesy jokes

They're really Gouda, I promise.

Looking forward to Iran vs USA in the World Cup. A bunch of semi-literate religious fundamentalists stuck in the 19th century.

But I think Iran can probably beat them

Myself & a bunch of guy friends tried to go to the new strip club named “The G Spot”…

We couldn’t find it.

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Today, I ate a bunch of Taco Bell.

Lots of shit went down.

I have a bunch of jokes about unemployed people.

But none of them work.

The other day I saw a huge sign advertising a bunch of clocks.

I guess it's just a sign of the times.

What happens when you put a bunch of cardboard boxes in your house during a full moon?

You make it a warehouse

Imagine making a belt out of a bunch of $100 bills tied together

That would be a huge waist of money.

My friend was just crushed by a bunch of books!

I guess he only has his shelf to blame

What do you call a bunch of potheads working together?

A joint effort!

A bunch of evolutionary scientists got together for a cookout one day.

The got a bunch of stuff to grill up, but everyone was most excited about the sausages.

The scientists counted the sausages to make sure there were enough for everyone, and even though they initially thought they had enough they were one short. They checked the cooler, the fridge, and everyw...

Cop sees a blonde with a bunch of penguins in the back of her car

So he stops her and asks her what she is doing with a bunch of penguins. She says she just saw them on the road and opened the door and they got in.

"You've got to take those penguins to the zoo," he says. Next day he sees her again with the penguins still in the back of her car.

Cop:...

What do you call a bunch of kids all dressed up as batman?

Halloween at the orphanage.

A bunch of boys decide to go cow tipping...

They go up to the fence and they are all standing there. They all point out the closest cow and have one of the boys go tip it over. The cow falls over and they all laugh. They find another cow and another kid goes over, tips it, and they laugh.

One of the boys sees a fence a little ways awa...

I got in a bunch of trouble for something I didn't even do...

... it was my homework

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I trapped a bunch of vegans in my basement

I’m not actually sure if If they’re vegans, but they keep shouting “lettuce leaf!”

I told a joke to a bunch of guys. They laughed. Now I'm going to prison.

For manslaughter.

So what? I have a bunch of Legos.

You wanna make something out of it?

I know a bunch of good jokes about umbrellas

but they usually go over people's heads

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A rabbi and a priest are in a burning building with a bunch of children

Rabbi: Let's get out of here

Priest: What about the kids?

Rabbi: Fuck the kids!

Priest: Do we have time?

How do you round up a bunch of cows?

You gotta flank steak.

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why did the boy throw dog excrement at a bunch of football (soccer) supporters?

He wanted to know what happens when the shit hits the fan.

At the moment he is recovering in hospital.

I received a bunch of flowers for valentines day, with the heads cut off

I think I was being stalked

What do you call a bunch of angry flag waving Americans?

A gathering Murricane

A mom decided to clean her teenage boy's room and she discovered a bunch of bondage & S&M gear - whips, handcuffs and stuff. She asked her husband what she should do about it and he replied...

"Probably not spanking him"

I guess politicians are just a bunch of chickens.

Ya got the right wing and the left wing.

What’s it called when a bunch of stoners start working together?

A joint collaboration

A bunch of groan-worthy one-liners

- Three guys walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

- Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"

- Two parrots are sitting on a perch. One says to the other, "Something's fishy about this."

- Two muffins are sitting in the oven. One says, "Oh ...

My mom's sister was telling me she forgot a bunch of basic math...

Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally

I don't think my doctor likes me very much. I told him I swallowed a bunch of sleeping pills

He told me to go home and have a few drinks to relax!

A bunch of youths pull up next to Lewis Hamilton at set of traffic lights

One of them rolls his window down, and Lewis winds his down too

'Oi mate!' says the lad 'Race?'

'Afro-Caribbean' says Lewis, smirking. And speeds off

Fastest way to stop an argument between a bunch of deaf people?

Just switch off the light!

What d'you call a guy who hangs out with a bunch of musicians.

A drummer

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