UPJOKE

A Bra Jokes

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I am doing a bra giveaway.

Send me pics of your boobs and I'll see if I have something that fits you.

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A bra, car battery and some jumper cables walk into a bar..

The car battery and jumper cables go find a seat while the bra asks the bartender for 3 beers. The bartender replies, "I'm not serving you! You're obviously off your tits and your two mates look like they're about to start something."

What is the German word for a bra?

stoppenfromfloppen

Damn boy, are you a bra?

Because you make me uncomfortable but society has brainwashed me into thinking I need you.

A man is shocked to find his buddy wears a bra. He asks “How long have you been wearing that?”

The friend replies, “Ever since my wife found it in the glove compartment.”

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

Thank you.

A bag of Frito Lays and a bra are the same...

Once you open them you realize there's only half of what you thought inside

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My wife was trying to describe what it's like shopping for a bra.

As an analogy she suggested, "It'd be like trying to find something to hold your dick that looks nice *and* feels good."

...

I looked her straight in the eye and said, "I did."

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A man walks into a bra.

“Dang,” he says. “I feel like such a boob!”

Why shouldn't you wear a bra that was made in Chernobyl?

Fallout

What’s a good name for a bra made by Spanx?

Spanx For The Mammaries.

What do you call a bra in Germany?

A Stoppemfromfloppen

Haven't worn a bra in 4 days....

I love being a man

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A bra runs into a dyslexic joke

Ah shit.

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A guy wanks into a bra

..damn, autocorrect knows me too well.

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I walked into my sister's room and tripped on a bra.

It was a booby-trap.

A dsylexic man walks into a bra

Read it again if you didnt get it

Mummy, can I wear a bra now that I'm sixteen?

No, David.

Men, if you're in a new relationship with a woman, but things aren't progressing physically, buy her a bra from the clearance rack.

At that point, it's already 50% off.

What's the difference between an old bus terminal and a lobster wearing a bra?

One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

An Arab walks into a bra store owned by Jewish guy.

The Arab finds a bra he likes and asks for the price. The Jewish guy being the business man that he is says "This is a great bra, it's really starting to get popular. I can sell you each for 50 bucks." The Arab guy nods and says "Sure, I'll buy 100." The next day the Arab comes back to the bra shop ...

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I tripped over a bra today

I guess it was a booby trap

My wife bought a bra with Wi-Fi.

... Or so I thought until she explained what wireless means.

What's the difference between a piece of Southwestern pottery and a bra?

One is a Terracotta pot and the other is a paira tata cots.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

Either way he's getting at least two cups

What's the difference between a bra and a ambulance

An ambulance takes care of the wounded while the bra takes care of the fallen

What does Atlas and a bra have in common?

They are both over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders.

Did you hear about the dyslexic Mexican that walked into a bra?

No?

I'll get my taco

My wife and I were walking along the beach the other day...

"It's interesting, isn't it." I said. "A woman can walk down the beach in her bra and panties and people would stare and go, 'oh my, that's a bit wrong, that!' and yet, if she walked along the beach in a two piece bikini people wouldn't even bat an eyelid. And, when you think about it, a two piece b...

Your mum is like a bra,

Close to your heart and there for support

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If a bra is an over-the-shoulder-Boulder-holder, what do you call a jock strap?

An under-the-butt-nut-hut!

Why does the Little Mermaid wear seashells for a bra?

Because B-shells are too small and D-shells are too big!

A dyslexic man walks into a bra...

If you were looking for a punchline them im sorry to say but its in the title. Now i know this breaks the rules but for this specific joke to have the punchline separate just destroys the underlying potential humor.

A man walks into a bra and asks for a mug of beer.

"Sorry sir," says the bartender, "We only serve in cups here."

Dyslexic guy walk into a bra

Good thing there was no one in there

Two men walked into a bra

They get two cups and they don't have to pay.

Dyslexic man walks into a bra

Whole joke in title! New era of convenience! In mother Russia, joke laughs at you!

***Bonus***, since you came in here anyway:

Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked. 'It's not unusual' he repli...

A dyslexic man is walking around in a bra.

Not sure why he’s on our high school gym stage, though. Maybe he saw the sign saying “*Grad* Night”?

What is the similarity between a bar and a bra ?

They both drive men crazy when they open.

What's the process of applying for a job at Hooters?

They just give you a bra and say "Here, fill this out."

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I think, I'm going to lose my drivers license and all just because of a stupid police officer...

The conversation went like this, when I got pulled over in my car:

Officer: "License and registration, please, I think you are drunk!"

Me: "I assure you, I did not drink anything."

Officer: "Ok, let's do a little test! Imagine driving in the dark on a highway at night, when you ...

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We are giving away a Bra.

Send images of your breasts so that we can see if we have the right size for you.

A man turned to his wife and said sarcastically 'I don't know why you wear a bra - you've got nothing to put in it'

Well, you wear underpants, don't you? Replied the wife

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What do you call a bra stretched across a road?

A booby-trap

An Economist went to a lingerie shop to buy a bra for his wife.

While he proudly announced to the Salesgirl that he is an Economist, he also confessed that only thing he knows about bra is 'how to unhook', and he really needed some expert help in making the purchase.



The Salesgirl asked, "Sir, you want a capitalistic, socialistic or democratic bra...

Why is a social worker like a bra ?

Both work for upliftment of downtrodden masses

Mum, I'm already 14, can't I finally get a bra?!

NO Harold!

I got my wife a bra that said "You're the best" on it and now she's mad at me.

I don't understand it. She'd been saying that her bras weren't giving her enough support.

A dyslexic person enters a bra...

He already got more action than me...

If you ever need to use a bra as a makeshift face mask, always use the left cup.

Otherwise you'll look like a right tit.

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Nike has come out with a bra that aids virgin boys.

Just Undo It.

Why does a nun not wear a bra?

God supports everything

I used to work at a bra factory

but it went bust.

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Victoria's Secret recently invented a bra that contains Bluetooth speakers ...

... because so many women had complained that men stare at their breasts instead of listening to them.

Freddie goes to Macy's to buy a bra for his wife

At the counter, the saleswoman asks, "what's your wife's bra size?"
Freddie replies, "6 7/8"
Saleswoman says, "6 7/8? What kind of bra size is that?"
Freddie: I don't know, I measured them with my hat."

I told my husband that I haven’t worn a bra since the stay-at-home order

He said, neither have I.

This is true and he cracked himself up. So I said that I will wear one again when this is all over. So he said, maybe he will too.

Girls are always so impressed with how fast I can take a bra off

But generally, they’re not too happy that I was wearing one in the first place.

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A bra and a set of jump leads walk into a bar.

A bra and a set of jump leads walk into a bar.
The bra says, "Two whiskeys thanks, mate."
The barman says, "Sorry, mate, you've had enough."
"What do you mean, mate?" says the bra.
The barman replies, "Well you're off your tits and your mate's trying to start something!"

My girlfriend was picking a bra to buy when I said "Bras dont suit you, your too flat"

My girlfiend then said "Well, you wear briefs right?"

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