UPJOKE

What do you call a boy cat sleeping on a bed?

Himalayan.

*Be gentle. First post on here!

Three people in a bed is called a

Two people in a bed is called a twosome.
Now you know why people call you handsome.

When does a fish become a bed?

When it’s cot

I used to work as a bed salesman

One day this guy came in and started climbing into the beds and asking really specific questions. Then it hit me, he was an undercover cop.

What's a quick and easy way to turn a sofa into a bed?

Forget your other halfs birthday

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My aunt recently decided to turn her home into a bed-and-breakfast.

I guess she woke up one day and said, "Not enough strangers are here."

Brazilian Hell

A man dies and goes to hell...

There, he finds that there is a different hell for each country.

He goes to the German hell and asks,

"What do they do there?"

He is told: "First, they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another...

Two guys sittin in a bed

6 ft apart cause they respect social distancing

what do you get when you cross a hippo and a bed?

a new bed

What do you call three logs in a bed?

A Treesome

I was really embarrassed when my wife walked in on me playing with my son’s train set by myself, so in a moment of panic, I threw a bed sheet over it...

I think I managed to cover my tracks...

A guy driving a Kia.

A guy driving a Kia pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce...

The driver of the Kia rolls down his window and shouts to the driver of the Rolls, "Hey, buddy, that’s a nice car. You got Wi-Fi in your Rolls? I’ve got Wi-Fi in my Kia!"

The driver of the Rolls looks over and says s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two turds on a bed.

One is dancing, giving it all and throwing victory shapes.
"Why are you in such a good mood?" asks the other, "we're pieces of !".
"Ah, well I just got laid"

I have a fondness for "technically true" jokes, like these:

Did you know that the average person has an above-average number of legs? After all, most people have two legs, while a few have none.


Did you know that if you shuffle a deck of cards, the resulting order has likely never existed before in the history of the universe?



Eve...
3 jokes are hidden here because they may not be suitable for all ages.
show them anyway

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.