This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does a 9-volt battery and an asshole have in common?

You know it's wrong, but eventually you put your tongue on it.

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I was blessed with a 9 inch penis.

The priest is in jail now.

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What does a 9 volt battery and a woman’s arsehole have in common?

You know it’s wrong, but sooner or later you’re going to stick your tongue on it.

George Bush started cracking a 9/11 joke, but one of his advisors whispered, “Too soon.”

It was September 10th.

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What’s the difference between a 9 volt battery and an ass hole.

You know you shouldn’t but you still want to put your tongue on it.

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My wife and I are a perfect match....I've got a 9-inch penis.....

And she doesn't know which end of the tape measure to hold.

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Dad given advice to his son "if you're hiking and a 9 foot grizzly rears up, you just"

"reach back, grab a handful of shit and throw it in the bear's eyes. Then run."





Son "Where do you get the shit from?"





"Trust me, it'll be there."

Why Cant Americans take a 9/11 joke?

cause it flies right by their heads...

I used to work for a used computer sales shop. I tried to convince my boss to have a 9/11 sale, 2 towers for the price of 1.

It didn’t fly.

An 8 year old (Billy) and a 9 year old (Tommy) are sitting in a waiting room with their moms at a hospital

Billy asks Tommy why he’s there.

Tommy says, “To get my tonsils removed.”

Billy says, “Oh don’t worry, it’s not so bad. You get to stay home from school and eat all the ice cream you want.”

Tommy then asks Billy, “Why are you here?”

Billy says, “For a circumcision.”...

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What's the difference between a 2 and a 9?

A sexual harassment charge

A 9-1-1 operator in the deep South picks up the phone

"9-1-1, what is your emergency?"

"Oh my God, it's my wife - she done been gored by a hog, she's bleedin' some real bad! Send help!"

"Calm down sir, and tell me where you are"

"I'm at 560 Eucalyptus Drive"

"Can you spell that for me, sir?"

"U... er... E, U... er... ...

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What do you call a 58 year old man that has sex with a 9 year old girl?

The Prophet Muhammad.

*Knock knock* (courtesy of a 9 year old)

Who's there?

I eat map.

I eat map who?

*Queue a disgusted face on my cousin* **YOU EAT YOUR POO!**

I tried to tell a 9/11 joke in New York today

It didn't fly well.

Sorry it's a 9/11 joke but I thought it was funny.

Why was the 9/11 attack so tragic? Because they ordered a peperoni pizza, but they got a plane instead.

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A 9 year old girl is playing with her younger sister...

... In the backyard of the house, when the older girl tap on her sister shoulder and point at the neighbor house saying:

_"Oh my god, look the neighbor's wife is giving a blowjob to the mailman under the veranda!

And her innocent sister ask with a cute little voice:

_"What's a v...

I got twelve upvotes the last time I made a 9/11 joke here.

I guess you could say it crashed and burned.

[DARK HUMOR] What's the difference between a door and a 9 year old?

The way you go in.

A couple with a 9 year old son are in their home...

A couple with a 9 year old son are in their home when the doorbell rings. Surprise surprise its an old friend they haven't met in a loooong time. So the wife and son immediately begin to prepare dinner in the kitchen for the guest while her husband entertains him in the living room.

Unfortuna...

what do you call a 9 year old african boy crying on his knees

Midlife crisis

A 9 year old kid walks down the hallway of his house

and hears something coming from his older sisters room. He peeks through the keyhole and sees his sister naked caressing herself and saying, "Oh, I want a boy, Oh I need a boy."

The boy didn't understand so he kept walking to his room. The next day he looked through the keyhole again and saw...

I went to bed with a 9 and woke up with a 6....

I wasn't drunk. She just changed positions.

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What does a man with a 9 inch penis eat for breakfast?

Well, Right now I'm frying up some eggs, got some toast in the toaster and the coffees brewing.

I see your An 8 year old kid told me this joke and raise you a 9 year old told me this joke

What's the difference between a train and a teacher?

One says CHOO CHOO CHOO and the other says SPIT OUT YOUR GUM.

What do you call NaCl and a 9 volt being thrown at you?

Assault and battery.

I'd tell a 9/11 joke...

But the only two I know always fall flat.

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I was blessed with a 9inch cock at 9 years old...

... But that priest is in jail now, so we don't talk about it...

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