A 24 Jokes

But it takes up too much room in my fridge.

It was his cake day!

Looking to swap for a 4 bedroom house

It got very late and they said "lets just call it a day".

I'm not here to brag, does anyone need a 24 year old's body while it's still warm?

The blonde asks what hours they are open for. The technical support person says “we are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.” The blonde stops for a moment a thinks. After a while she asks “is that Eastern or Pacific time?”

...guess I’ll call it a day”

I think he must be going soft in his old age.

...making it much easier to wait til 5 o'clock to start drinking

The man sees a case of beer on one of the shelves and puts it in the cart.

“What are you doing?” asks his wife.

“They’re on sale, only $10 for 24 cans.” he responds.

“Well, put it back. We can’t afford those.”

Without another word, the man obeys his wife and puts the case... read more

Throwback to my favorite Steven Wright line:

Realized late one night I needed something from the store and remembered there was a 24 hour market down the street.

I went down there and arrived as the shop keeper was closing up the store.

I said, " I thought you were open 24 hour... read more

Two close friends, Sam Frank and Frank Sam, pass away on the same day. Frank Sam, having led a good life, went to heaven and played a harp in the celestial choir. Sam Frank, having led a somewhat less noble life, wound up in hell running a disco. Frank Sam really missed his old friend and asked perm... read more

Three old Catholic men and one old Catholic woman were sitting a a table one morning. The first old man said, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room people say Father." The second old man said, "My son is a Bishop, when he walks into a room people say Your Eminence." Third old man says, my s... read more

Whenever a 24 or 30 pack is brought to a party they'll say, "Looks like someone has a case of the Mondays".

I went down the street to a 24-hour grocery store. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, "Hey! The sign says you're open 24 hours." He said, "Yes, but not in a row!"

A 24-carrot ring

"Currently we got a 24 month wait list"

My friend and I got a summer job at a construction company. On our first day we were told to go to a nearby apartment building that was still under construction, to place some windows on the 28th floor. About an hour in, our colleague trips and suddenly falls out of the window. Dead as a doornail, t... read more

An 88 year old man is about to marry a 24 year old woman, goes to the doctor and asks the odd about them having a baby. Doctor says “well, we would need to do some studies first sir, can you give me a sperm sample in this cup please”. Old man goes into a room and is in there for over an hour, he eve... read more

The first priest says: "My son's a priest, whenever he walks in a room people say 'Hello Father!'"
The second priest says: "My son's a bishop, whenever he walks into a room people say 'Your Grace!"
The third priest says: "Well my son's a cardinal, whenever he walks into a room people say "You... read more