UPJOKE

A 2 Jokes

As a responsible employer, All my staff are in a 2 week quarantine.

Productivity is through the roof since nobody can leave the office.

A 5-sided figure is a pentagon, and a 6-sided figure is a hexagon. What shall we call a 2-sided figure?

Let's just let bigons be bigons.

Unintentional joke from a 2 and a half year old:

Oh no, I'm falling in the sink!

I'm sinking!

What do you call a 2’ Amishman?

A Toy-Yoder

I remember when I was a kid I could go to a store with a dollar and get two big bags of chips, a 2 liter of Sprite, 6 bags of Skittles and 6 Slim Jims.

Nowadays they have cameras everywhere inside.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is it called when you lift a port-a-potty on the roof of a 2 story building with a crane?

Taking that shit to the next level.

A man's ship sinks and he finds himself marooned on a deserted island. After a 2 months, a beautiful woman in a wetsuit swims ashore.

"I bet it's been a while since you had a beer." she says. "Oh, boy has it ever!" the man replies and she proceeds to pull an ice cold beer out of a pocket of the wet suit and hands it to him.

"I bet it's been a while since you had a cigar." she says. "My, it has been so long!" and she proce...

France just made a 2 letter abbreviation for their country

Oh, fr?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Last summer, I traveled to europe for a 2 week vacation..

On the last night, I decided to go to a club for some action. As I approached the entrance, there was nothing more amazing i'd seen in those last 2 weeks than the bouncer. He was buffed up at least 4 inches taller than me, had long hair, a braided beard, hell he looked like a viking. Surprisingly, h...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I’ve always dreamt of having a penis as long and wide as a 2 litre bottle of orange soda,

Fanta sized really

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a 2 and a 9?

A sexual harassment charge

What did a guy with a 2 inch pecker have for breakfast?

Well, I had 2 eggs, some bacon, hash browns and toast.

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