90 Year Old Man Jokes - 12 Hilarious 90 Year Old Man Jokes

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The Doctor tells the 90 Year Old Man that he needs a semen sample. "Bring back the specimen tomorrow."

The next day the old man comes back with the jar in hand. It's as clean and empty as it was the previous day.
"Did you have a little trouble?" asked the doctor.
A pause, then he says, "When I got home I tried, you know? First, with the right hand. Next, with the left hand. Nothing. That I ask...

Another 90 year old man goes to the docs, the doctor says " I'll need a urine sample, a stool sample, and a blood sample."

The old guy says, "Take my pants."

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A 90 year old man wins the Powerball for 400 million dollars..

He arrives at the press conference, accepts his giant check and teary eyed with joy proceeds to take questions from the media storm. First reporter asks "What is your full name?" He replies his name is Ira Mandelbaum. Second reporter asks "What are you going to do now?" Ira replies "First, I am ...

A 90 year old man goes into a brothel

He walks up to the madam and asks for a young, nubile woman. The madam looks at him and says: “You’re 90 years old, you’ve had it!” He replies: “Oh, I have? How much do I owe you?”

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A 90 year old man is getting checked by his doctor

after the checkup the doctor sais "I heard that you have a new girlfriend, and at your age"

The old man answers "yes, she's only 19 years old, and a beast in the sheets. We have Sex thrice a day and it's always great!"

The Doctor, surprised, comments "You know, Sex is hard work for the...

My next door neighbor is a 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer’s

Every morning at 9 AM he knocks on my door and asks me if I’ve seen his wife.

Which means every morning at 9 AM I have to explain to a 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer’s that his wife has been dead for several years.

I could move. I could just not answer the door. But it’s wo...

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A 90 year old man was being interviewed on the secret to long life

The TV cameras were rolling as he was explaining that his secret to long life was to never drink or chase loose women, when the back bedroom door opened and a barely dressed young woman ran out and grabbed an ice tray from the fridge.

A bellow from the back room came, “Woman, get back here!”...

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A 90 year old man gets married...

A 90 year old man gets married to a 20 year old. He goes to the doctor to make sure that he is physically fit enough for relations.

The doctor then says, "You know how young folks can get lonely without someone of their own age to talk to, why don't you get a young border to... keep her compa...

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A 90 year old man goes to the doctor.

Full disclosure, I got this joke from Tom Jones on Marc Maron's WTF podcast today. Tom's 80, mentally spry like he's 30, and he swears like a sailor.

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90 year old man goes to the doctor.
Says “Doctor, it used to be that I’d get these erections so hard that I couldn’t even bend them ...

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A 90 year old man was having his annual checkup while his family was standing by in the waiting room.

During the checkup, the doctor asked the man if he was having any issues with wetting the bed at night.

The man responded, "No doc, no issues at all with that. On the contrary, when I go to the bathroom, a fairy or something turns the light on when I open the door. And after I finish going ...

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A 90 year old man went to his doctor for his monthly visit... [NSFW]

**Doctor**: Hello Mr. Smith, how have you been doing?

**Mr Smith**: Well Doc, things have been going great. I fucked a 20 year old girl who is now pregnant with my child. So what do you think about that eh?

**Doctor**: '___' for a few minutes.

Okay Mr. Smith lemme tell you a sto...

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New nurse at an elderly care centre: "Hey, I was checking though Bills medication list and got curious, why would a 90 year old man need viagra while staying here alone?"

Nurse 2: "It stops him rolling out of bed."

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