UPJOKE

90 Mph Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Batman and Robin go out for a few drinks

Both superheroes are exhausted after a long week of non-stop crime fighting, and decide to chill for a few a hours at the local watering hole.

Robin knows his friend has been working way too hard and for long hours. So he thinks, what the heck, he can get drunk and relax. He decides to remain...

Simon Lizotte once threw a vinyl disc straight into a brick wall at 90 mph

Sounds like a broken record

A guy is driving 90 mph down the highway...

...and he has a penguin in the front seat. A cop catches him speeding and pulls him over down the road. He approaches the car and notices the penguin in the car and asks, "What the hell is this!?" The driver replies, "Well, it's a penguin, officer!" The cop yells at him to take it to the zoo, writes...

Mid-life Crisis

A man in his 40's bought a new Tesla Model S and was out for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair, and he decided to rev her up.

As the needle jumped up to 90 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. "There's no...

You know I once talked my way out of a speeding ticket?

I was going up to my parents house doing like 90 mph on this country road and I got pulled over.
This cop, gets out of his car, he kind of swaggers on over and he's like "young lady I've been waiting for you all day"
So I looked up at him and I said, "I'm so sorry officer I got here as fast...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three legged chicken

A real estate agent from the city is driving down a county road looking for the place he is to meet a new client. He looks out the window and sees a three legged chicken running beside him in the ditch.
He is amazed that as he looked at the speedometer in his car and he's doing 40 mph, all the w...

An electron is driving down the road...

I electron is driving down the road. A police officer pulls him over for speeding. The police officer asks him, "Do you have any idea how fast you were going?"

The electron shrugs, "Sorry Officer, but I have no idea."

"You were going exactly 90 mph."

"Damn it, now I'm lost."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

BABY POWDER

It's after dinner when this guy realizes he's out of cigarettes. He decides to pop down to the corner bar for a pack, telling his wife he'll be right back.

The bartender offers him a draft on the house and he decides he has time for just one. He's nursing it along when a gorgeous blonde come...

A police officer is trying to catch people at a speed trap

A police officer is trying to catch people at a speed trap when he finally see's a car barreling down the highway at 90 MPH. The officer proceeds to pull him over and walks up to the driver window. The officer remarks, "Son, I've been waiting for you all day." Without missing a beat, the young drive...

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