UPJOKE

86 Year Jokes

An 86 year old man goes to the doctor with a perplexing issue...

The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the man said,
>Things are great and I've never felt better.
>I now have a 20 year old bride who is pregnant with my child.
>So what do you think about that Doc?

The doctor considered his question for a minute and then beg...

A lawyer goes to heaven

St Peter meets him at the pearly gates. The lawyer is impressed, but asks "Are you sure it is my time? I'm not that old?"

St Peter says "What do you mean? You're 86 years old."

The lawyer says "No I'm not...I'm only 58. Why do you think I'm 86?"

St Peter says "Well, we just ...

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An 86 year old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk .....

The Receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?"

"There's something wrong with my dick", he replied.

The Receptionist became irritated and said, " You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that."

"Why not? You asked me what ...

An 86 year old man goes in to his yearly checkup.

His doctor says, "You're looking good, how do you feel?"

The old man says, "I feel *great*. I have a 25 year old wife who's carrying my baby. What do you think about that?"

The doctor says, "That reminds me of another patient I have who's about your age. He an avid hunter and never ...

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86 year old spinster

Old Spinster visit the doctor for the first time in years. During the check up the Doc need to examine her lungs. Puts a stethoscope under her blouse and tells her to say 99. Ninety-nine she says. Docs moves the stethoscope to her left breast and tells her to say 99. Ninety-nine she says. Right...

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A 86 year old virgin woman dies.

In her will she requests the following to be engraved on her tombstone:
"Born a virgin, lived a virgin, died a virgin."
But that was too long so instead they put:
"Returned unopened"

My grandmother, 86 years old, just entered medical school.

She's a cadaver, and she is living death to the fullest.

A husband and wife, both 86 years old, get interviewed by the local paper

for the occasion of their 60th wedding anniversary. The journalist asks the woman what she hopes their future might hold, and she says

"Oh, I'd like for us to live to 100 together."

The journalist asks the man, who says

"I hope to live to 101."

"Why's that?" asks the jour...

With age comes wisdom

An 86 year-old man is out fishing. He was sitting in his boat when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up!"

He looked around and did not see any one. He thought he was dreaming until he heard the voice again.

"Pick me up." The old man looked in the water and there, floating on a lilly pad w...

An old man and an old woman are hanging out in a retirement home...

The old man says to the old woman "I bet you can't guess how old I am."
The old woman say "I bet I can! Let me try something."
The old woman reaches down the man's pants and feels around for a few seconds and says "You're 86 years old!"
The old man says "Wow! How did you do that?" ...

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