UPJOKE

80th Birthday Jokes

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

Aye matey!

Request: PG Pirate Jokes

I have two jokes that I use a bunch and requesting a third.

1. What did the pirate say at his 80th birthday?
Ayyyy, matey

2. What's a pirate's favorite letter? You think it be R, but my first love be the C

Paul McCartney celebrates his 80th birthday with Stella in Mykonos.

You would think with all his wealth, he would have bought at least ONE bottle of Champagne.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's a man's 80th birthday

His buddies decide to hire him a call girl as a gift. The wheel him into a hotel room and on the bed is a gorgeous blonde. His buddies leave the room and she says "I'm here to give you super sex!". The old man looks at her and says "I'll take the soup".

What did the Pirate say on his 80th Birthday?

I don't know, but I'm sure someone is gonna repost this

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It was an old man's 80th birthday...

It was an old man's 80th birthday and his friends wanted to get him a special gift. After some discussion they decide to have a hooker come to his house that night and give him the time of his life. Later that evening as the old man was getting ready for bed he hears the doorbell ring. He opens t...

An old man is celebrating his 80th birthday...

...so his grandson decides to give him a gift and takes him to a brothel. The grandson says to the Madam, it's my grandpa's 80th birthday today and he's never been to a brothel before. The Madam says don't worry I'll give him somebody who's gentle and show him something exciting. So she takes the ol...

A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water.

As the bartender gives her the drink she says, “I’m on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it’s today…”

The bartender says, “Well, since it’s your birthday, I’ll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me.”

As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, “I wou...

Billy's birthday gift

Little Billy just turned 8. His parents went all out for the party. They rented a bounce house. The cake was three layers. They even hired the best clown in the state. All of Billy's friends from school were there, even some of the older cool kids made it. At the end of the party, when everyone left...

Three women share a birthday and celebrate it together

For their 40th birthday they go to the Lakeview restaurant because the waiters are cute and wear tight pants.

For their 50th birthday they go to the Lakeview restaurant because the prices are reasonable and it has a good wine list.

For their 60th birthday they go to the Lakeview restau...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two old guys are drinking

Two elderly men are out drinking one evening. They've been friends since childhood and they are both approaching their 80th birthdays. As they sit at the bar and reminisce about their lives one of the men glances across the bar and sees another couple of buddies who are also up in years out drinking...

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