A 7 year old kid happily asks him mum

Kid: Mummy, why am I getting my Christmas present on 18th August?

Mum: Because it's cheaper than chemotherapy, son.

My 7 year old nephew showed me with pride the "telephone" he had just made from a string and two tin cans. I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but..."

"Look at what kids your age make in China!"

Original I think from my 7 year old

I need to know if he really came up with this on his own, he promises he did.

What do you call famous skeletons?

Pop skullture!

From my 7 year old nephew: What's the difference between a cat and a frog?

A cat has nine lives, but a frog croaks every night.

I asked my 7 year old, "Why do you have chocolate all over your face?"

He said, "Saving it for leftovers."

That boy cracks me up.

Trey Parker goes back in time to his 7 year old self at Casa Bonita...

Look, in the future you are going to have a very successful TV show for over 20 years, over 4 movies, Broadway accolades and a billion dollars. Also, you own Casa Bonita now.
And his 7 year old self says with excitement "I'm gonna own Casa Bonita?!"

My 7 year old son came up with this please be kind.

Why did the icecream have an umbrella?... because there were to many sprinkles!

Yesterday I was in the zoo with my 7 year old son

As we walked by the tiger enclosure, I told him how dangerous it is.

He looked up at me asked, “dad, if the tiger where to get out and eat you...”

Preparing to comfort him I waited patiently.

“Which bus should I take to get home again?”

An original joke from my 7 year old daughter

Did you hear the joke about the piece of paper?

Don’t worry about it, it’s tearable!


{I’m sure someone in history has used this pun, but I was pretty impressed with her effort!}

Also from my 7 year old nephew: What is it called when Olaf is crying?

A meltdown.

From my 7 year old son: Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A 7 year old and a 4 year old are in their bedroom...

"You know what" says the 7 year old

" I think its time we start swearing. When we go down for breakfast i will swear first then you".

"Ok" Replies the 4 year old.

Mum asks the 7 year old what he wants for breakfast.

" I will have Coco pops,bitch"

WHACK, he flew out...

A joke from my 7 year old... What do you call a man who dips biscuits into his cup of tea?

Duncan

My 7 year old's first comeback line

My son has asd and though he loves to read jokes and tries to understand why they are funny, introducing wit to him has been difficult. It was more of a surprise than a joke but here goes.

We recently moved to India and my wife is missing outdoors and Europe and today she said - oh I really w...

My 7 year old just came up with these Avatar: The Last Airbender jokes. We were quite surprised.

What kind of music does Toph like?

- Rock-and-Roll


What kind of instrument does Aang play?

- Air guitar


I know it’s not much, but I got a kick out of his reasoning and decided to share.

My 7 year old told me this joke. I hadn't heard it before - What does a camel use to hide itself?

Camelflage

My 7 year old nephew told this joke to my sister : what's the first thing you do after waking up and the last thing you do before going to bed?

Nephew: Brushing your teeth!

Mom: oh honey that's not a joke.

Nephew: it is if you think that's what I do!

From the 7 year old nephew: Why didn't the volcano eat dinner?

Because its plates were broken.

My 7 year old told me this one (sfw)

Why does the duck have feathers?
To cover it's quack hole!

JOKE from my 7 year old

Guy 1 -"Sir do you have any hotdogs?"

Guy 2 - "No why?"

Guy 1- "Then why is your dog on fire?"

Guy 2 - "WOT O.o"

My 7 year old daughters new favourite joke..

Daughter - Mum, will you always and forever remember my name?

Me - Yes.....?

Daughter - knock, knock..

Me - who's there?

Daughter - you said you'd always remember my name!

(Daughter walks off in a theatrical sulk.
It's been a week.. I still fall for it almost da...

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A woman is bathing her 7 year old son, the kid looks at his wrinkled ballsack and asks...

Mom, is this my brain?

The mother replies: not yet son, not yet...

My 7 Year Old Cousin just told me this

yo mamas so fat when she fell down no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A 7 year old goes to a brothel...

and slaps a $10 dollar bill on the counter and says, "Give me a hooker!"

The madame, looked amused and says, "Get lost kid."

The kid then slaps a $50 on the counter and says, "Give me a hooker!!"

The madame raises an eyebrow, but before she could say anything the kid slaps a $...

Told by a 7 year old boy: How do you drop on an egg on a concrete floor without cracking it.

Concrete floors are really hard to crack.

Then he said "you were thinking about the egg weren't you!"

My 7 year old daughter just told me this

What do you watch when you’re brushing my hair?

Tangled

I took my 7 year old son to the zoo today and as we were walking around, he suddenly shouted, “Look Dad! It's a frickin' Elephant!” I was shocked and slightly angry, as everybody was looking at us...

“What did you just call it?” I asked.

“It's a frickin' Elephant, it says so on the picture!” he said, and so it did, A F R I C A N Elephant.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A 7 year old and a 5 year old are upstairs in their bedroom

'You know what?' says the 7 year old, 'I think it's about time we started swearing.'

The 5 year old nods his head in approval, so the 7 year old says,

'When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna swear first, then you swear after me, ok?'

'Ok' the 5 year old, agrees with enth...

Joke from a 7 year old

This is from my 7 years old kid:

What do you call a rabbit's poo?

Disgusting carrot.

Knock-knock joke told to me by a 7 year old kid:

Knock-knock

Who's there?

Doris

Doris who?

Doris locked that's why I'm knocking!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A lady and her 7 year old son..

A lady and her 7-year-old son are eating in a restaurant.

In a moment of playfulness, the boy swallows a coin and chokes. The mother tries slapping his back, rubbing his neck, shaking him hard and everything she could think of, without success.

The boy begins to turn blue. The desper...

At a family breakfast the following conversation takes place between a Dad and his 7 year old son.

Son: Daddy what are those big round things on mummies chest?”

Dad: They’re balloons son. When mummy dies we can blow them up and she’ll float to heaven.”

Son: Really? Because Uncle Frank was blowing them up yesterday and mummy kept saying “Oh God, I’m coming” but she didn’t float anywh...

My 7 year old asked me "Is up shut a bad word?"

I replied "Ahh no?"

He replied "But it's the reverse of shut up!"with a huge grin.

Reddit he wanted me to share his first joke with everyone.

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My 7 year old son said he wanted a treehouse in our back garden.

25 years growing that tree and now he says he doesn't want it anymore... Ungrateful bastard.

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The 4 year old and the 7 year old

There was two brothers. One was 4 and one was 7. One night the older brother said to the younger one "I believe that we are old enough to swear now. In The morning we will both say a swear word to mum. Ill go first then you do it." The little brother agreed to this.

The next morning the mom a...

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A 7 year old girl is walking through a fair with her two dogs

One dog is as black as charcoal and the other dog is white as snow. A man stops and says to her, "what lovely dogs you have there. What is that one's name?"

"Blackey," she replies, "because he is black"

"Oh that is very clever, and what is that one called?" he asks

"Porky," she ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is at the supermarket with his 7 year old son when they walk past the condoms

The boy asks: 'Daddy, what are those?', to which the man replies 'Those are condoms son'. 'What are they for?', asks the boy. His dad replies 'To, ehhm ah eh, protect you from diseases'.
'Why do they sell them in packs of 3, 6 and 12?'.
'Well, the packs of 3 are for 16 year olds. One for fri...

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if it's true that crows have the intelligence of a 7 year old human...

How come I've never seen a crow admitted to hospital for having a lego stuck up it's arse?

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There's a 4 year old and a 7 year old.

The 7 year old says, "Hey, let's say bad words!" The 4 year old says okay, so they go downstairs. They see their mom and she asks the boys what they want. The 7 year old says, "Give me some god damn Reese's Puffs." The mom slaps him and asks the 4 year old what he wants. The 4 year old says, "You be...

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What do you call a 7 year old redneck girl who can run faster than her brothers?

A virgin.

I'll see your 7 year old joke and I'll raise you my own. What did the fish say when it hit the wall?

Dam.

(Told by a 7 year old reading me a joke off of her SpongeBob Gogurt) "What is Plankton's grandma's favorite type of pudding?"

"Not labeled for individual sale!!!!!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Everyday Mom would take her 7 year Old Daughter for a drive in her car.

One day Mom was busy so Dad took the little girl for a drive.

Later Mom asked how was a drive with Dad?

Daughter: It was very strange. In the entire drive we did not see a single:

Idiot,
Nonsense,
Hell,
Bastard.

We Just Saw:

Hot,
Damn,
Wow,
Foxy...

My wife heard a 7 year old say this joke: “What did the elephant say to the naked man?”

How do you breathe with that thing?

My 7 year old daughter drops this joke on me.

What kind of bee's make milk?


Boo-bee's

Joke from my 7 year old cousin - Why did the ninja go to college?

He wanted to be a ninja-neer.

A conversation with my 7 year old brother.

"Look at all of these beautiful horse"

"Horses"

"Horse is already plural, isn't it?"

"You're thinking of elk"

"Holy mooses, you're right"

Tallahassee, FL (AP) - A 7 year old boy was at the center of a court room drama yesterday when he challenged the court’s ruling of who should have custody of him.

The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents, and was initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.
The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beats him mo...

(From my 7 year old) Why should you never give Queen Elsa a balloon?

Because she'll just let it go.

My 7 year old neice told me this joke today

What do you do when your nose goes on strike?


Pick it!

A chinese father tells his 7 year old son he's adopted

His son replies: it's ok daddy I learned this in school already! 2 wongs don't make a white.

I See your 7 year old jokes and I raise my own, What do you get when you cross the ocean with a Train Station?

A Whale Way

My 7 year old niece didn't realize she made a joke while playing Star Wars with me.

Me (Darth Vader): What have you done with those plans?!?
Her (Leia): It's over there in that little box.
Me: How can a disc fit in that little box?
Her: It was a floppy disc.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day, a 7 year old boy went to visit his grandmother.

Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said: "Grandma, why don't you have a boyfriend now that grandpa went to heaven?"

Grandma replied: "Honey, my TV-set is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The religious programs makes...

Knock knock

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Cow goes.
Cow goes who?
No, Cow goes Moo!

Credit to my 7 year old daughter

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