UPJOKE

7 Hour Jokes

I've been playing my lute for 7 hours and my fingers are sore and stiff

I have minstrel cramps.

The time change totally messed with me and I thought I wasted 7 hours browsing Reddit

Turns out it was only 6 hours wasted, carpé diem!

Now that "Cocaine Bear" has been a hit and they are working on "Meth Alligator." I can't wait for the next installment...

"Marijuana Sloth." A 7 hour slow-paced movie about a vicious Bradypus with the munchies for murder.

I was exhausted after work today. I delivered a roll of bubble wrap. The lady said just pop it in the corner.

It took me 7 hours.

Two statisticians were traveling in an airplane from LA to New York.

About an hour into the flight, the pilot announced that they had lost an engine, but don’t worry, there are three left. However, instead of 5 hours it would take 7 hours to get to New York.

A little later, he announced that a second engine failed, and they still had two left, but it would tak...

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A guy got a job working at the FBI

After years of training and studying for this moment he got hired to work for the FBI. His first mission given to him was to make his way to New York at the Statue of Liberty to meet up with an informant for a sting operation. After arriving at the place and waiting for three hours he got tired, Ren...

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An Artist in Japan

An English Manga artist is offered a job in Japan - by Studio Ghibli. He arrives in Tokyo 7 hours early, so decides to visit the red light district. Here he bangs a geisha for 5 hours solid - with her screaming "Machigatta ana Machigatta ana" at the top of her voice. Which puts a big smile on his fa...

I really like daylight savings time, I got an extra hour of sleep last night

I was in bed for 7 hours, but when I woke up it was EIGHT HOURS LATER!!!!

My brother and I were having a breath holding contest in the pool.

He's really good, been down there for 7 hours now.

The Final Battle of Jesus and Satan

It's not well known but the final battle between Jesus and Satan is actually a computer programming battle. Armageddon arrives and the battle begins. Jesus and Satan are both tasked with the most complicated programming task ever given. This is the type of task even Linus Torvalds would declare i...

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The god Thor is bored one day and decided to try out having sex with a mortal woman...

He heads down to earth and finds a beautiful young woman. Pouring on the charm, he convinces her to go to bed with him. He goes back to her place and enjoys her in every possible way, absolutely plowing her with all his god-like strength and endurance. 7 hours later, he rolls off. She's laying there...

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