UPJOKE

60 Mph Jokes

What’s red and green and goes 60 mph?

A frog in a blender.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is driving down the highway at 60 mph when a three legged chicken passes right by him.

In shock, he decides to follow the chicken down this dirt road. He sees the chicken run onto this farm and into barn. The man gets out of his car and goes to the front door to speak with the farmer.

“Sir, I’m sorry to bother you, but I was driving down the highway doing atleast 60 mph when I...

A married couple is driving...

down the interstate doing 55 mph. The husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him. "Honey, I know we've been married for 15 years, but I want a divorce." The husband says nothing, but slowly turns up to speed to 60 mph.

"I don't want you to talk me out of it, because I've been hav...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man and a woman were dating. She, being of a religious nature, had held back the worldly pleasure that he wanted from her so badly. In fact, he had never even seen her naked.

One day, as they slowly drove down the freeway, she remarked about his slow driving habits. "I can't stand it anymore," she told him. "Let's play a game. For every 5 miles per hour over the speed limit [60 MPH] you drive, I'll remove one piece of clothing."

He enthusiastically agreed and sped...

Joseph Stalin is being chauffeured to a meeting when he is struck by a sudden urge.

He taps on the glass partition to get the attention of his driver.

"Driver, I should like to take the wheel for some time. I have not driven in a long while."

"Sure, boss!" says the driver, and they switch places.



Well, Stalin is a devil behind the wheel. He gets to 6...

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A farmer separated the bulls and cows to prepare them for the mating season a few days later He built a wall with barbed wires on top.

A young bull could not resist his temptations and wanted to mate a cow.

Other bulls told him there was one veteran consultant bull amongst them that could help.

The bull went to him and asked how to cross the wall to the cows.
The consultant explained: "First of all.. stand 60 feet ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was driving along a rural road one day when he saw a three legged chicken running down the road.

He was amused enough to drive along side it for a while, as he was driving he noticed the chicken was running 30 mph.

Pretty fast chicken, he thought, I wonder just how fast it can run. So he sped up and the chicken did too! They were now moving along the road at 45 mph!

The man in the...

Followed by the cops

So I was driving on the freeway and I noticed this cop following me. I sped up to 50 mph, and he followed, then to 60 mph, and still he followed, then I sped up to 90mph and he still followed me with blue lights flashing.

So I was like "oh no", and pulled over.

The cop walked up to my ...

Two Amish women are walking down the street.

Two Amish woman are walking down the street when they come across a momma skunk and a baby skunk. A hummer comes driving by at 60 mph and runs over the momma skunk and kills it. The first Amish girl says oh my we can't let that baby skunk by itself. So she picks it up and puts it under her dress to ...

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Motherfucker sure can drive...

A bartender is working late one evening when a guy comes in. The guy asks for a shot, takes the shot, swishes it around in his mouth, spits it on the floor, and says "Motherfucker sure can drive."

The bartender thinks it's a bit strange but leaves the guy alone because he's clearly very dist...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Donald Trump, Barack Obama, and Kim jong un were driving down the road...

Donald was driving , Barack was in the passenger seat ,and Kim Jong Un was riding in the back seat.

Trump was going 90 miles an hour in a 60 MPH zone.

Trump notices in the rear view mirror a cop was pulling them over.

“I’m gonna need to see your license and registration” said ...

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