This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

That SOB can drive!

### There was this woman sitting on a park bench muttering to herself and spitting. She would mutter then spit, mutter then spit. As a man got closer he heard her say "Damn, that sonofabitch can drive" then spit "Damn, that sonofabitch can drive" then spit, "Damn that sonofabitch can drive" then...

A French man, a German man, and a Polish man go skydiving

First, the French man jumps out of airplane. At the right time, he says "viva la France" and pulls the ripcord. Then, the German man jumps out and pulls the ripcord at precisely 1000 feet. Then, the Polish man jumps out of the airplane and he passes the 1000 foot mark but does not pull the ripcord. ...

A Texan, Donald Trump, and a New Mexican are walking along when they stumble upon a gold lamp...

They all immediately grab for it, and each get a hand on it.

As they each struggle to take it from the other two, a genie pops out. The genie says, "You have woken me from my slumber, and I shall give you three wishes. Since you each have a hand on the lamp, you will get one wish a piece."...

A man asks out a woman...

Him: "If you don't say yes I'm going to jump off that 500 foot cliff over there."

Her: "I call that a bluff."

With all this talk of walls and migrants around the world.

Paddy Englishman, Paddy Irishman and Paddy Scotsman find a golden lamp in a forest and when Paddy Englishman rubs it with his sleeve a Genie appears and gives them a wish each.

Paddy Scotsman says "I wish to have neverending riches and alcohol."

Paddy Englishman says "I wish there was ...

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