UPJOKE

49 Year Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"If you win the lottery,

the first thing I want you to get me is a face lift and a boob job," said my 49 year old girlfriend as I was checking my ticket.







"Well, actually, the first thing I would buy is a reconditioned engine and a respray for my Mondeo," I replied.






...

Trees

I accidentally posted this to the Reddit subgroup "funny". Hopefully I have the right spot now!

Two trees are growing up side by side in the forest one is a birch tree, and one is a beech tree. They are so conceited, theyrarely noticed the rest of the forest around them. Until one day, they l...

Chocolate chip cookies!

Joe Briscolli, a retired family man with terminal cancer is lying in his deathbed when he smells the aroma of his beloved wife's locally famous chocolate chip cookies, which she knew he loved more than anything on earth. "Oh, my loving and kind wife, in my final days you comfort me stalwartly. You a...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.