UPJOKE

40th Anniversary Jokes

Husband and Wife 40th Anniversary

A husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th anniversary. The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting a headstone that reads: 'Here lies my wife, cold as ever'." "Yeah," she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone reading: 'Here lies my husband, stiff at last."
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On the night of their 40th anniversary

On the night of their 40th anniversary the wife asks her husband: "What were you thinking about, at this moment, fourty years ago?"
The husband replies: "How I wanted to fuck your brains out and suck your tits dry."
The wife responds: "What are you thinking right now?"
The husband says: "I ...

Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary.

Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing.
Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. Howe...

FIL marriage advice

My father in law once told me the secret to a great marriage. On your 5th wedding anniversary take your wife to the old country.



On your 40th anniversary go back and get her.

Google Doodles

Four people are sitting at a bar. A native American, a trucker, a business woman, and a google employee walks up to these people, and asks them:

“Do any of you know of an important problem facing our society? If so, then we can make a doodle of it and put it on our search homepage to raise aw...

Bill and Hillary are now married for 40 years

Bill and Hillary are now married for 40 years. When they first got married, Bill said, “I am putting a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it.”

In all their 40 years of marriage, Hillary never looked. However, on the afternoon of their 40th anniversary, curiosity got the best...

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Anniversary

On their 40th anniversary, a woman gives her husband a voucher to visit a witch doctor about his erectile dysfunction.

The man asks the doctor what to do about his problem-he just had trouble standing at attention, now that he's over the hill. The witch doctor gives him a medicine and says, ...

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Respect and Blowjobs

A girl and boy meet in high school and fall in love. They do everything together and eventually lose their virginity to one another, but the girl refuses to give him a blowjob. "I'm sorry," she says. "I love you so much and I'd do anything else in the world for you, but I'm afraid you'd lose resp...

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