UPJOKE

40 Pound Jokes

I lost 40 pounds in a day;

but I also lost my babysitting job.

A guy tried lifting 40 pound dumbbells

"This is too much." He decided.

He spent his money on cheaper dumbbells

How did Jared Fogle lose 40 pounds?

He broke up with his girlfriend.

I lost 40 pounds this year.

On an unrelated note, if you see a 6 year old boy with brown hair and brown eyes. Please contact me.

I was at the supermarket the other day...

I was at the supermarket the other day, buying dog food. As I was standing in line for the cash register, there was a lady behind me asking me if I had a dog (beacuse why else would I be buying dog food, right?!) Anyway, my inner demon woke up, so I told the lady that I don't have a dog, but that I ...

What's the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?

About 40 pounds.

What's the difference between a husband and a boyfriend?

Daytime drinking

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A very fat man wants to lose weight

A very fat man wants to lose weight. After many failed attempts, he sees an ad:

Lose weight with pleasure!! Guaranteed results!!

Three diferrent packages:
Begginer: 20 pounds in 5 days
Intermediate: 40 pounds in 3 days
Advanced: 60 pounds in only 1 day!
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An obese man is trying to lose weight

His friend tells him about this gym where he can lose all his unwanted fat within a few days.

The man goes to that gym, the coach welcomes him "Hello, welcome to the best gym ever. Today you will work in the first floor, where you will lose 20 pounds in 2 hours."

The man enters the fir...

My wife handed me a bag of clothes

She wanted me to donate it to the poor and hungry. When I threw it in the trash she got angry. I told her, any one that can fit in those clothes dosen't know hunger.

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