How did Jared Fogle lose 40 pounds?

He broke up with his girlfriend.

A guy tried lifting 40 pound dumbbells

"This is too much." He decided.

He spent his money on cheaper dumbbells

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I've lost 40 pounds in the last week.

No seriously guys where the fuck is my £40

I lost 40 pounds this year.

On an unrelated note, if you see a 6 year old boy with brown hair and brown eyes. Please contact me.

I lost 40 pounds in a day;

but I also lost my babysitting job.

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Oprah Winfrey was busted by TSA at O'Hare airport today with 40 pounds of crack.

They let her go because it just turned out to be her vagina.

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When John Wayne died, he had 40 pounds of fecal matter in his intestines.

It sounds like a lot of shit, but it's true.

The gold smuggler crosses the border of the Soviet Union

The customs officer opens his suitcase, and asks him what's inside.

-Well, as you can see, it's a painting of comrade Stalin.

-Yeah, but in a 40 pound gold frame?

-Why? Do you think he doesn't deserve it?

What's the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?

About 40 pounds.

What's the difference between a husband and a boyfriend?

Daytime drinking

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A very fat man wants to lose weight

A very fat man wants to lose weight. After many failed attempts, he sees an ad:

Lose weight with pleasure!! Guaranteed results!!

Three diferrent packages:
Begginer: 20 pounds in 5 days
Intermediate: 40 pounds in 3 days
Advanced: 60 pounds in only 1 day!

My wife handed me a bag of clothes

She wanted me to donate it to the poor and hungry. When I threw it in the trash she got angry. I told her, any one that can fit in those clothes dosen't know hunger.

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An obese man is trying to lose weight

His friend tells him about this gym where he can lose all his unwanted fat within a few days.

The man goes to that gym, the coach welcomes him "Hello, welcome to the best gym ever. Today you will work in the first floor, where you will lose 20 pounds in 2 hours."

The man enters the fir...

I wasn't seeing the results I wanted from the gym

So I started going to British casinos instead. I'm only two weeks in and I already lost 40 pounds!

Jenny Craig

I dropped 40 pounds on Jenny Craig.

I think I broke her leg!

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