UPJOKE

37 Year Jokes

After 37 years I’m finally ready to retire with $5,000,000 I’ve accumulated through hard work, careful saving, living a life of simple means...

...and the death of an uncle who left me $4,999,996.50

I'm 37 years old, a husband, and a father of two pre-teens AND I don't tell Dad jokes...

because he left when I was 2.

After 37 years of marriage. Jake dumped his wife for his Young secretary.

His new girlfriend demanded that they live in Jake and Edith’s multi million dollar home and since the man’s lawyers were a little better he prevailed.

He gave Edith his now ex-wife just 3 days to move out. She spent the 1st day packing her belongings into boxes crates and suitcases.

O...

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(NSFW) Sheila and Barry...

Sheila and her husband Barry went for counselling after 37 years of marriage.

When asked what the problem was, Sheila went into a passionate, painful tirade, listing every problem they had ever had in the 37 years they had been married. She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, e...

A teacher was called in by the police for accusations of child molestation

"What is your name sir?"

"Mark Stephens"

"How old are you?"

"37 years old"

"And what do you do for a living?"

"I teach school chilren"

"Come again?"

"I teach school chilren"

"Do you mean children?"

"What?"

"You said chilren, you f...

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A guy walks into the bathroom and sees a leprechaun

A man walks into the bathroom and sees a leprechaun taking a piss. The man grabs the leprechaun and says, "I got you, where's the gold?"
The leprechaun tells the man the he will give him the gold but first he needs the man to answer 3 questions and do one task.
The man agrees and the leprec...

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American Pharoah wins the Triple Crown, this is a historic moment...

It's been 37 years since someone owned horse semen this valuable.

Little Boy and the Pastor

So back in the day, a little boy riding his bicycle home from school notices the community pastor in his front yard with a push mower. Not paying much attention the boy goes on home and does his chores. Later the boy goes back by the pastors house and sees him still in the yard with the mower and no...

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"Doc..." says Steve. "I want to be castrated." "What on earth for!?" asks the doctor in amazement.

"It's something I've been thinking about for a long time and I want to have it done." replies Steve.

"But have you thought it through properly?" asks the doctor. "It's a very serious operation and once it's done, there's no going back. It will change your life forever!"

"I'm aware of t...

Never question a drunk!

A 37 year old woman at the super market says: NEVER, EVER, QUESTION A DRUNK . . . . I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:

A half-gallon of 2% milk
A carton of eggs
A quart of orange juice
A head of lettuce
A 2 lb. Can of coffee
A 1 lb. Package of bacon<...

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