UPJOKE

33 Year Jokes

If my 33 year old body was a 90's Rom-Com...

...it would be "When Hairy Met Saggy".

My 33 year old friend is dating a 19 year old.

They went out to dinner and kept getting harassed by the locals.

They we're shouting 'Peado' and 'Cradle snatcher' and all sorts of horrible names.

It completely ruined their 10 year anniversary.

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Did you know that Jesus Christ was Italian?

He lived with his mother for 33 years; he thought she was a virgin and she thought he was the son of God.

A 65 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.

While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 33 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck...

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The funniest thing my grandpa ever said

I was visiting my grandparents a couple years back and my grandma brought up that the PA at the local clinic, an attractive 30-something year-old woman, was moving out of town. My grandpa piped up with "Yeah, I'm gonna miss her. Do you know how hard it is for a man my age to get a 33 year old woma...

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A plane is going down and everyone on board is coming to grips with the fact that they're going to die...

The inside of the cabin is eerily calm while all the passengers ponder whether they have lived fulfilling lives.

Suddenly, a homely woman jumps up and says "I'm 33 year old virgin! I have lived an empty life, and I ask if anyone on this plane can please, please, before I die, make me feel li...

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It's my birthday today

It's this man's 33rd birthday. He gets a package at the Post Office and goes to collect it. At the counter the woman brings his package to him, and the man says, "It's my birthday today."

"Oh, happy birthday, how old are you?," asks the Post Office worker. "33," says the man. "Well, have a g...

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The county's eldest man had just turn a 100 years old and local tv was reporting on the event...

The reporter had her crew set up in the living room of the retirement home where the man, born in 1919, was watching days pass by.

She sat on a chair in front of him, ready to start taping the feel-good segment of the night's local news.

"I'm with mister James Woodson, our county's eld...

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