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3 Nuns Jokes

3 nuns died in a car accident.

They reached to the gates of heaven but St.Peter said "so I know you are people of the cloth but I decided that I am not going to just let people in, I'm going to give you a test".


So he goes to the youngest nun and says "who was the first man on earth". Nun 1: "Adam" a hand reaches ...

3 Nuns

Three nuns are driving home after an evening church service when suddenly a demon-like creature appears on the bonnet of their car.
The nuns are shocked and are unsure what to do!
"Quickly" says the Nun driving "Lean out the windows and say a bible verse"
So the other Nun winds down her wi...

3 nuns are travelling in a bus when it crashes...

All of the nuns died instantly, and find themselves standing in front of the Pearly Gates, where St Peter is waiting for them.

He said to the nuns, "Before I can let you in to heaven you each have to answer a question."

To the first nun, St Peter asks "Where did Adam meet the first wo...

3 nuns die and go to heaven.

They are greeted by St. Peter at the pearly gates.

Peter says "Before you enter heaven you must answer a question." So the nuns look nervously at each other and agree.

Peter asks the first nun "Who was the first man on earth?" The nun confidently says "Adam"

Bells ring! Lights f...

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3 nuns have dedicated their lives to God since they were 16.

25 years later they started talking about everything in life they missed out on. Never getting a drivers license, to their first drink at 21, or even having sex.

So they all decided they would go to their priest and ask if they can have 1 day off from being a nun. As this is a weird request t...

3 Nuns appear before St. Peter at the gates of Heaven.

Upon seeing the three, Peter states: "As I see that all three of you are women of faith. I see no reason to even look up the sins of your life to assess your worthiness to enter Heaven. However, I must test your faith by each asking you one question to see your knowledge of the holy book."

Th...

3 Nuns at the Pearly Gates (very mildly NSFW)

3 nuns are in a bus in Colombia, which due to budget cuts breaks it's axle, rolls over, and kills them all. When they come to, they realize that the three of them are in a cloud-filled place standing in front of an elderly man at a dais, behind whom are enormous, gold-plated gates, which at the mom...

3 nuns are flashed by a pervert in a trench coat

2 of them had a stroke. The other one didn’t want to touch it.

3 nuns and heaven

Three nuns who had recently died were on their way to heaven. At the pearly gates they were met by St. Peter. Around the gates there was a collection of

lights and bells. St. Peter stopped them and told them that they would each have to answer a question before they could enter through the pe...

In a terrible car accident, 3 nuns die at the same time

They all appear in front of the gates of Heaven to meet Saint Peter. When they arrive, Peter informs them that those who lived a life of the cloth must answer some basic questions about theology before they are permitted to enter Heaven. Each of the nuns has studied their bible well, so they don't f...

3 nuns and a Parrot

This was a joke I heard decades ago, sorry if someone beat me to this one. Here goes:

3 nuns were passing by a big house. It was a modest house with a beautiful yard and in it, a caged Parrot. It’s not very talkative but everytime the three nuns pass, the parrot would utter random colors…
...

3 nuns die and go to heaven

St. Peter tells them, "I am going to ask each one of you a question. If you get it right, I will let you in."

He asks the first one, "Who built the ark?"

"Easy, that was Noah." She replies.

Peter tells her that is correct and lets her in.

Peter asks the second one, "W...

[NSFW] 3 nuns were sitting on a park bench when a man came along and flashed them. 2 of the nuns had a stroke.

The third one missed.

3 Nuns go for a walk

The 3 Nuns walk past a large bush. From the bush, a naked man jumps out.

The first 2 Nuns do nothing, the third has a stroke.

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Flasher and the 3 Nuns

My virgin post. Sorry if this is a repost but I still find this funny after decades.


3 nuns were walking in a park when a man in a raincoat jumped out of the bushes and exposed himself to the 3 nuns.


The first nun gasped and had a stroke. The second nun gasped and also had ...

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3 nuns are at the bar together, having some drinks, bullshitting

1st nun says, “Hey guys, I’m so loose, I can get an entire fist up there.”

2nd nun takes a shot, says, “That’s nothing! I’m so loose, I can get *two* whole fists up there and still have room to clap.”

Well they both look at the 3rd nun who says nothing, but starts sliding down the bar ...

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3 nuns die and go to heavens gate

3 nuns died and went to Heavens Gate. St. Peter comes out and says "before you can enter the gates of heaven you must answer me this one question".
"What part of your body last touch a man's genitals?"

The first nun steps up and says, "Well, I used to work in an orphanage with babies and ...

3 guys and 3 nuns are at a baseball game.

The 3 guys are sitting behind the nuns and they can't see over the habits the nuns are wearing. Irritated, one of the guys says, "you know, I'm gonna move to Wyoming. I hear there are only 100 nuns there."

The second guy says "I'm gonna move to Nevada. There are only 50 nuns there."

Th...

3 nuns are at the pearly gates...

St Peter greets them saying "Sisters of the faith! I have some bad news. Due to the current state of the world, there is a lineup to get into heaven. But since you devoted your lives to the Lord, I have a special surprise for you! You all get to go back to Earth until we can get you in past the gate...

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3 Nuns [Long]

Three nuns were kicking around the convent one day, doing nun things such as praising the lord and disapproving of pop music when one nun said

"RIGHT. I'm sick of being a nun, I want to quit" the other two nuns agreed, being a nun is rubbish, and skipped off singing to Mother Superiors offic...

3 Nuns were involved in a motor accident.

3 Nuns were involved in a motor accident. They died and went to heaven. At st. Peters gate, they were told it wasn't their time to die, so they will be sent back to earth. As a reward for their good earthly deeds they will allowed to go back to earth as whom they want regardless of timeline.
1st ...

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3 nuns go to mother superior and say they don’t want to be nuns anymore.

Mother superior says “Ok but you have to go and do something unholy.”

The next day, the first nun goes to mother superior and says “I stole a kids bike!” Mother superior replies “Ok, that is un-holy. Go and drink from the holy water and you will no longer be a nun.”

The second nun goes...

A monk, 3 nuns and liquid soap (long)

So 2 monks were going to have a shower and as they got in, they realised that they didn't have any soap so one of them went up to his room as he had some there. As he was leaving, he saw 3 nuns in the hallway so posed as a statue to wait for them to go past.

When they reached him, the first n...

3 nuns die and go to heaven...

.. when they get there saint peter tells them he can grant them to be reincarnated as anyone they want for 6 months. The first nun walks up and said "I want to be a young and beautiful Brittany Spears" ((snap)) she disappeared.. the second nun walks up and says "I want to be Janet Jackson with lungs...

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3 Nuns

Are lost in the desert. Exhaustion, thirst and hunger are setting in. Out of supplies and options, Sister Mary prays to the Lord.

The Lord replies "March on my children, over the next ridge you will find a gift, when you have found it pray again."

Sure enough over the next ridge is an ...

3 Nuns died and went to Heaven...

When they get there, there is an angel in front of the gates that separate them from Heaven. The angel tells them that in order to get through, they each must answer a question correctly.
The first nun steps up.
The angel says to the first nun "Are you ready for your question?"
The nun says...

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3 nuns die and go to heaven...

They're greeted warmly by the big pearly gates. The welcoming angel is holding a big bowl of water. He asks the first nun - have you ever touched a man's penis?

The first nun trembles and says yes, she touched a penis but only with her fingers.

Dip your fingers into the holy water an...

3 nuns and a blind man.

The nuns just finished building the addition to their monastary, but it still had to be painted. The head nun gave 3 of the nuns the task. She says: "Sisters, make sure you don't get any paint on your robes!" The three nuns decided, since there was no one around, to just strip naked. They ae paintin...

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3 nuns went to a village and stayed a night at a lodging house.

Because it was a small lodging house, there was only one pool where people took a

bath. So the owner told the nuns to take their bath first, then it would be

his turn. But at that time they were busy praying to God, and didn't hear

anything the owner said.

An hour later, ...

3 nuns decided that well.... they did not want to be nuns anymore.

One day 3 nuns got together and the 1st nun says "Man it sure is boring being a nun. I think I'm going to leave the convent." Both of the other nuns agree and they go to the head nun(sister jude) to let her know that they did not want to be nuns anymore. The 1st nun says," Sister Jude I wish to not ...

3 Nuns

Three nuns were on vacation and travelling in a bus. Sister Veronica was chatting with Sister Frances who was sitting next to her. Across the aisle was Sister Trudy. Sister Trudy was very hard of hearing and was leaning across the aisle and trying to hear what the other two sisters were talking abou...

3 nuns die in a bus crash

St. Peter greets them in heaven, “you’ve all lead exceptional lives resisting sin and serving the Lord. It’s merely a formality, but I have to give you a short quiz before allowing you into heaven. I’ll make it quick and easy.”

To the first nun he asked, “who was the first man?”

She an...

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[NSFW] 3 nuns are in a church on a hot day...

Because it was such a hot day, all 3 of them decided to take off their clothes, so they could relax peacefully in the heat.

However, only an hour after they had taken off their clothes, there came a knock on the church door.

"Who is it?" asked the head nun.

"It's the blind ma...

3 Nuns die in a car crash...

...and as they have all dedicated their lives to God, their souls are immediately sent up to heaven, where they meet St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

"Sisters, I know you are all devout followers of Christ, but unfortunately we have protocol to follow up in here in heaven, and I must first ask ...

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3 nuns are in line at the gates of heaven

The gatekeeper tells the first nun in line that, in order to enter the kingdom of heaven, she will need to cleanse herself with holy water from any place she touched a penis, for it was a sin. She nodded and proceeded to cleanse her hands in a fountain of holy water nearby. The 3rd nun in line is tr...

There are 3 nuns two that are crying and one who is laughing...

a priest goes up to the first crying nun and asks, "What is wrong sister?" The nun says, "I broke into somebody's house." The priest says, "Go drink from the holy water it will wash away your sins." The next nun says, "Father I stole someone's car." The priest says, "Go drink from the holy water it ...

3 nuns get in a accident

And go to heaven. Saint Peter said," we used to just use holy water to get rid of your sins before entering heaven but some other nuns screwed that up."

Now you have to answer a question to get in heaven. To the first one he said, "who was the first man?"
She said, "that was adam"
Light...

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Mother Superior say to 3 nuns "Because you've been so committed to this monastery over the last 50 years you can go out this weekend and commit any sin you like."

"When you return you must drink this holy water and all will be forgiven."

So the 3 nuns head out for a fun-filled weekend.

On Monday when they return, Mother Superior summons them to her office. She asks them what sins they committed. The first nun says..."I became an alcoholic and di...

A mother superior called 3 nuns and asked them to do a sin or something wrong...

The nuns were hesitant because they didn't want to, but the superior said it would be a lesson in confession.

Then a little later, one came back and was crying

"Why? What did you do?" asked the mother superior

"I picked flowers in the garden."

"Ok your sins are forgiven, ...

Two priests go into the shower

In the shower they notice that there are no soap.

One of them says "Il go to my room and bring 2 soap bars" runs naked to the room, grabs 2 bars of soap and when he was running back...

3 nuns show up, first thing he remembers to do "freezes like a statue"..

Nuns look at the s...

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A priest is trying to understand why people do bad things.

The priest decides to call a meeting with his 3 nuns to discuss people's motivations. Ultimately they realize that they don't know very much about this topic and that it is necessary to go out into the world and do some "bad" things. The priest instructs each nun to go out and do "bad" things and co...

Two priests at a hotel

The priests walked to the public showers. Once they were at the showers they realized that they had forgotten their soaps. So one of the priests decided to walk naked back to their room which was rather close.

Once he had obtained the two soaps he saw 3 nuns coming around the corner in the c...

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NSFW 2 Nuns

2 Nuns have been tucked away in a convent for the last 2 years when the Mother Superior approaches them and informs them that due to their dedication and devotion over the last 2 years she will take them on a trip to the nearest village.

The 2 sisters smile with glee and anticipation to the ...

Three Nuns

One Friday, there were 3 nuns riding on a mountain road. They were coming around a turn when a semi rammed into them head on killing them instantly. They were coming to the gates of heaven and noticed a sign that said "Closed for Remodeling".
One nun knocked on the gates and out came St. Peter. H...

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An old Jewish lady is sitting in a restaurant sipping tea.

When 3 nuns walk in and sit at the table next to her. They start talking about where they want to go on vacation.

The second nun says to Mother Superior "Let's go to Jerusalem?"

Mother Superior says "No, too many jews there."

The third nun says to Mother Superior "Let's go to N...

An anti-joke I wrote

3 nuns, a rabbi, a soldier, 4 orphans, 2 blind men, 6 white guys, a Jew, 4 Koreans, a Canadian, 2 Italians, 6 prison guards, 5 blondes, 3 polish women, 4 atheists, a doctor, 7 grad students, 2 firemen, 3 birthday clowns, a police officer, 9 soccer moms, 2 soccer dads, a biologist, a chemist, 3 physi...

3 guys go out drinking one night.....

they get absolutely hammered and eventually find their ways home.

they all meet up the following morning for coffee and breakfast.

1st guy says: Man I was so hammered last night I went home and blew chunks!!

2nd guy says: That's nothing!! I woke up naked in the local park! No id...

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