UPJOKE

29 Year Jokes

I just read that a single ant can live to be 29 years old.

Anyone know how long the married ones live up to?

"I'm 29 years old today..."

"I'm 29 years old today," said Ralph, setting a box of donuts on the table in the office. His coworkers all wished him a happy birthday.

Next day, Ralph's secretary answers the phone...

"Hello, my name is Carl. I'm Ralph's brother in law, and I'd like to wish Ralph a happy birthday," s...

4 religious women were chatting

First woman mentions her son:

-My son is a priest, whenever he enters a community, people stand up and call him, "Father, welcome"

The second woman doesn't seem impressed:

-My son is a bishop, people call him "Your excellency" when he is in a community.

The third woman ta...

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I am no longer a 28 year old virgin!

I am a 29 year old virgin.

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As a 29 year old virgin, I hired a hooker today for $300. And have never been happier.

She said she’d do anything.

So guess who just got their college tuition paid

85 year old Mr. Horwitz goes to see the priest to give a confession

"Father, forgive me, I have slept with another woman than my wife" the old man confesses.

"Mr. Horwitz, didn't your wife pass about 10 years ago? In fact, I have seen you out dating other women in the last few years..." the Priest responds.

"Yes, she did, Father, and I have dated, but ...

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(Content NSFW) man walks into a bar on St. Paddy's day and gets tapped on the shoulder by a leprechaun.

A man walks into a bar on St. Paddy's day and gets tapped on the shoulder by a leprechaun. The man turned around and the leprechaun asks "how old are you?" The man replies "I am 29 years old." The leprechaun nodded then said "You have a family don't you?" The man repied "Yes, I have 2 kids and a...

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The affair

A 29 year old man was dating a woman called ‘Lorraine’ they had been together a few years but the relationship started to get stale.

One night the man went to a bar to get away from his wife and met a woman named “Clearly” they hit it off and went back to hers to have sex.

The man beco...

A 50 year old guy goes to a surgeon to make himself look younger

The surgeon completes the surgery and it is a success.

"How do I look?" the man asks.

"You look 30 years young!" the surgeon replies.

The next day, the man goes to the gas station to fuel up and asks the cashier:

"Excuse me sir, how old do I look?"

The cashier resp...

Grandpa Joke

I was driving around with my Grandfather yesterday. As we passed a cemetery he says,
"People are dying to get in there, you know".
I couldn't help but bust out laughing. I'm 29 years old...Gotta love Grandpas

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An Old Joke

The year is 2120, and our story follows Joe McFlinch and his journey to overcome his inner demons. 'Who is Joe?', you may be wondering. Well, Joe is a cowardly 29 year old male. He has no special talents or skills, no hobbies, and most sadly, no friends. If I were to describe him as a dish, he would...

Dating Advice from a Rabbi

So it's Friday night in the synagogue and during the course of the service the rabbi standing at the pulpit is looking out over the back to the congregation. In the very back he sees a young man who's got his head in his hands for the entire service. He's very concerned about this so after the servi...

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