UPJOKE

27 Year Jokes

At 98 years old, my grandfather had the body of a 27 year old.

Unfortunately, the police found it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm no longer a 27 year old male virgin!

I'm 28 today!

The wine taster at an old vineyard died. A homeless guy, looking ragged And dirty, came to apply. He persuaded the manager to give him a try.

The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped and spit. “It's a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels." He said. "Impressive," said the manager.

The man is given another. "Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the N...

Was going to post an original joke my parents made 27 years ago

But r/jokes won't let me post my selfies

Bill Clinton tried to cheer up Hillary this morning.

He reminded her that Nelson Mandela wasn't elected President until after he had served 27 years in prison.

Bill and Melinda were happy for 27 years

And then Bill started working from home.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Just found out that cockfighting is done with roosters.

That's 27 years of rigorous training, straight down the fucking drain.

I've been married to my wife for 27 years but it feels like 27 minutes.

...under water

When I was younger, I was told my Prime would come at around 26 or 27 years old.

They lied though, I'm 28 and still can't afford my own account.

An 87 year old man marries a 27 year old girl...

They decide to go to exotic India for their honeymoon. But once they arrive the man is exhausted by jet lag and isn't able to consummate the marriage. He begs her forgiveness and says "I just need a little nap and then we can go."

3 hours later he's still asleep and his young chick is bored a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sex could be fatal...

An 85 year old man, who has been a single widower for 30 years, gets engaged to a 27 year old girl.

He goes to his doctor for a Viagra prescription in preparation for his wedding night.

The doctor tells him, " I need to warn you that given the length of time that you have been abstin...

My mom dropped this one on me

Mom and I, her 27-year-old son, had had an argument about my clothes. She pointed to a hole in my shirt and said, "There's a big hole in your shirt!"
I responded, "Yeah? Well there's a big hole in your face and dumb things keep coming out of it," pointing to her mouth.
Without a pause, she sna...

What kind of table is good for your health?

A vegetable!

This joke was made by adorable 8-year-old niece!

It wasn't. It was made by a 27 year old. Me. It was made by me.

Our president promised to eradicate crime in, what i heard, was 3 to 6 months, during his campaign period. So it will be resolved in 27 years & 2 months?

326 months, he said.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Doctor visit.

Had to go to the Doctors yesterday, doctor said strip off, he immediately mentioned the fact that my genitalia was perfectly shaped like a saxophone...

I explained that it was a family trait and we all had genitalia shaped like musical instruments.

He was amazed and said, "Well in 27 y...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A blond is starting in 2nd grade

On the first day she comes home to her mother and eagerly yells: "Mom! Mom! Today we had English and I knew more words and could spell better than any other kid! Is it because I am a blonde?"
"No, honey", said the mother, "It is simply because you are smarter and more knowledgeable than the ot...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Aliens Encounter A Gas Station

Two aliens from outer space come down to Earth and land next to a gas station. They debate who to talk to and approach a gas pump. The one alien commands, "Take me to your leader." Nothing happens. The alien gets angry, points his ray gun and says, "Take me to to your leader or I'll zap you to dust!...

Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around the supermarket when they collide.

The old guy says to the young guy:

"Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

"That's okay," the young guy says. "It's a coincidence really because I'm looking for my wife, too."

"Well, maybe I can help you find her. W...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A callow youth walks into a talent scout’s office…

…gingerly cradling a cardboard box with some small holes poked in two sides.

After sitting nervously among a four-foot-tall sword swallower, a violinist with six-fingers on each hand, and a sexy contortionist named LuLu LaFrance who whispered something in his ear that turned him beet red, the...

What's the difference between Amy Winehouse, Janice Joplin, Jim Morrison, and a bottle of scotch? (OC)

A bottle of scotch can keep beyond 27 years.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

John really loves black women, but can never seem to date one. He seeks help from his friends.

He meets up with them: "Guys, I am 27 years old. Soon I'll settle down with a nice girl and build a family. But whatever happens, I really want to date a black girl. I fear that when I'll get married, I won't ever be able to fulfill this desire of mine."


Robert, his stoner friend, suggest...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Priest and the Rabbi.

Two men are sitting on a train, and they start talking. They soon learn that one is a Priest and the other a Rabbi.

“How long have you been a Rabbi?” The Priest asks.

“25 years next week” the Rabbi replies. “ How about you, how long have you been a Priest?”

“27 years” the Prie...

My Grandmother got involved with a younger man

So my grand mother got involved with a younger man.
27 years old.
My family was outraged; they couldn't digest it.
But I don't think it's fair. I mean, love is blind...
So what if he dug her out?

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.