Soviet Plumber

"Good news, comrade, your application for a car has been approved! Your brand new Zhighuli will be delivered 10 years, 8 months, and 26 days from today!", says the party officer to the citizen.

"Is this going to be in the morning, or in the afternoon?", replies the citizen.

"What diffe...

A New Yorker calls his mother who lives in Florida. She answers the phone with a very weak-sounding voice.

"Mom, you don't sound so good. What's wrong?"

Very feebly she answers, "I haven't eaten in quite some time."

"How long has it been, Mom?"

"My last meal was 26 days ago."

"26 Days!? How come?"

"I didn't want to be caught with food in my mouth when you called."

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