UPJOKE

250 Yard Jokes

The Frog

I was playing golf, and even though I am usually a pretty good player, I was playing horribly that day. As I was about to tee off at the fourth hole I heard a voice say, three wood. I looked around and no one was behind me so I took my stance. Then once again I heard ..three wood. I looked down and ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A husband and wife love golfing together, but they aren't very good, so they decide to take private lessons.

The husband has his lesson first. After the pro sees his swing, he says, "No, no, no, you're gripping the club way too hard!" "Well, what should I do?" asks the man. "Hold the club gently," the pro replied, "just like you'd hold your wife's breast."

The man takes the advice, takes a swing, an...

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Golf humor

A man in his mid-twenties entered a confessional, made the sign of the cross, and announced, “Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It's been three years since my last confession.” The priest replied, “What is your sin, my child?”
“Well,” the young man began, “I used profane language and I feel ter...

I was playing golf with my wife...

.. I'd been having a great game but unfortunately she wasn't. On the 16th tee I hit a beautiful shot, 250 yards straight down the fairway. My wife steps up and hits a tremendous slice that leaves the course and lands in the pasture out of bounds. We both went looking for the ball and just as we wer...

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Moses and Jesus are playing golf.

Moses steps up to the tee and hits a beautiful shot 250 yards straight down the middle of the fairway.

Jesus steps up to the tee and hooks the ball into the trees.

Jesus looks up into the heavens, raises his arms, and suddenly the sky darkens. A thunder clap rings out, rain pours dow...

Having immigrated at 1 and been raised in Los Angeles

by two hard-working first generation Korean parents,

I still struggle with insecurities, some of which are

worsened by deeply ingrained Asian stereotypes from my past.

Just the other week, my Caucasian friend Jessie and I hit the links

and I tee off 250 yards straight dow...

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The golf lesson

A woman is getting a golf lesson from a pro. Despite every way he tries to explain it to her, she just can’t get her grip right, and slices the ball again and again. Finally, the exasperated pro say “Look - just pretend the golf club is your husband’s penis”. The woman steps up to the tee and hits a...

Heavenly Justice

Once, there was a preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance he could get, he would be on the golf course swinging away. It was an obsession. One Sunday was a picture-perfect day for golfing. The sun was out, no clouds were in the sky, and the temperature was just right.
The preacher was in a...

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Imam go golfing...

The imam tees off first. He completely shanks the drive. "Fuck!" he screams, "I missed!" The priest turns to the imam and says "My friend, you must watch you language. If you continue to swear God will rain his wrath upon you". The others tee off without further incident.

On the fairway, the ...

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