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Guess who‘s no longer a 24 year old virgin...

...i turned 25 yesterday.

An 84 year old man to his doctor: My 24 year old wife is pregnant. Your opinion doctor?

An 84 year old man to his doctor: My 24 year old wife is pregnant. Your opinion doctor?

Doctor: Let me tell you a story:

There was once a man with an umbrella walking through a forested area. Suddenly a leopard jumped in front of him. Too scared to do anything, the man holds up his umb...

I have the body of a 24 year old model

But it takes up too much room in my fridge.

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I was offered sex with a 24 year old Instagram model last night. In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner.

Of course I declined, because I am a person with high moral standards and strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available in lemon scent or vanilla.

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A 93 year old man is about to marry a 24 year old girl...

He goes to his doctor and asks for a Viagra prescription after telling the doctor his situation with an impending new young bride.

His doctor warns him: “ Given the length of time that you have abstained from sex, I’ve got to warn you- sex could prove to be fatal.”

“Doc”, says the old...

Even at the age of 46, I have the body of a 24 year old.

I'm not here to brag, does anyone need a 24 year old's body while it's still warm?

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A eighty something year old man and his new 24 year old bride....

The new bride had only married the elderly man for his money . She was sure he would pass soon . They arrived at the hotel for their honeymoon . The elderly groom tried and half heatedly managed to carry the bride across the threshold . The bride new his heart might not be able to stand much more , ...

Professor Martins at the University was giving a lecture on "Logic and Legality" to his first year students.

This day one of his students was perturbed because he had just received his results and was shocked that his professor had failed him.

After sitting through the lecture for an hour, the student raised his hand. "Professor, do you really understand anything about the subject?"

The profe...

An old Mob boss is on his deathbed.

He requests to see his 24 year old Grandson. He tells him, "Here grandson I want you to have this gun so you can remember me." The grandson not impressed says, "I don't care much for your gun although I love your beautiful Rolex watch grandpa."

Mob boss responds, "No child you need to listen....

I cheated on my 24 year old girlfriend

I apologized and told her my mistress is half the woman she is.

"That's because she's 12!", said my girlfriend.

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I haven't had sex since 1994

This isn't a time format joke.

I'm just an almost 24 year old virgin.

A middle-aged woman goes to the doctor

A middle-aged woman goes to the doctor and returns with a smile, and tells her husband, "The doctor said I have the heart of a 24 year old!"

The husband replied with a smirk, "Oh yeah? What did he say about your 50 year old ass?"

She said "Oh, your name never came up."

What is my age ?

The new mathematics school teacher on the very first day asks a very complicated question.

Teacher: Let me see if you can answer this question :

"A train in Russia covers a distance of 600 kilometres in 4 hours . A bomber flies over a City in the Middle East and drops a huge bomb. A...

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A old man and a young man play golf

The young man sees an old man hug an incredibly attractive 24 year old blonde. The woman leaves in a sport car peeling out of the facility wildly while leaving the old man with his golf gear. The old man walks towards the course smiling and seems to be settling up to start his game. The young man wa...

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An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall.

They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again.


The boy asked his father, "What is this father?"
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like ...

My grandma got a hip replacement

My new grandma is a 24 year old barista and an aspiring artist.

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