UPJOKE

What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow?

Can't milk a cow for 21 years.

Abdul was going through bit of a rough patch in his marriage.

So after work, he decided to pay his Imam a visit.

He said "I have been going through some problems with my wife, she seems like she is always angry at me, what do I do?"

The Imam replied "You should spend more time with your wife, appreciate her role in your life, maybe praise her co...

21 years ago a man was born without a body...

He was only a head. Miraculously he survived his birth and lived 21 years of his life as just a head without a body.

On his 21st birthday his father decided he would take his son out for his first alcoholic beverage. They went to a bar together and the father asked the bartender for 2 cold be...

Amanda is 21 years older than her son John. In 6 years from now, Amanda will be 5 times as old as John. Where is John's father?

Let M be the age in years of Amanda now.

Let C be the age in years of John now.

Then:

M = C + 21
M + 6 = 5(C + 6)
⟹ C + 21 + 6 = 5(C + 6)
⟹ C + 27 = 5C + 30
⟹ -3 = 4C
⟹ C = -3/4

John is -3/4 years old, which is -9 months old.
...

My dad told me he worked 3 jobs, had 2 girlfriends, graduated top of his class when he was 21 years old

Nothing is impossible if you can lie

My parents are the funniest people in the world

They made a joke 21 years ago and people are still laughing at it.

A Chinese joke about the USSR

In the 1960s a Chinese student in Moscow get upset with the system. Therefore walks up to red square and shouts: "Khrushchev you are a lier! Khrushchev you are a traitor! Khrushchev you are an idiot!" The man get's arrested right on the spot and put into prison. Even though the Chinese government se...

A man is waiting for his wife to give birth...

The doctor comes in and informs him that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. Your son is just a head!

But the father loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and
compassion. After 21 years, the son is old enough for his first drink. Dad
takes him to the bar an...

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I was offered sex...

In Thailand, I was offered sex with a 21 years old girl today. In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I declined, because I am a person with high moral standards and strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available ...

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A drunk man walks into a bar...

A drunk man, 35 years old, walks into a bar. Stumbling through the bar, he finds a seat and asks the bartender for a whiskey.

The bartender, seeing how drunk he is, is hesitant to serve the man. "How much have you had to drink today?" he asks.

The man responds, "Today's my Anniversar...

The 3 brothers

Once upon a time, there are 3 brothers, Lowman, Midman, and Highman, they are age 16, 18 and 20 respectively.

One day, they went for hunting as usual. But the eldest brother was lost during the hunt.

The remaining two brothers went back home with a deer but without their eldest bro...

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Irony of Indian law system

I have two questions for the lawmakers of our country:

1. If the legal age of a Man to get Sexually active is 18 years and the legal age for him to get married is 21... then what are we actually suggesting he should do these 3 years?

2. Now if the legal age for a Man to get married is ...

Two blondes are at a bar celebrating

as soon as the drinks arrive, they give a quick toast, exclaiming **21** then turn up their glasses. The bartender thought this was odd, considering they both looked to be close to 30. Time passes, another round ordered, and other celebratory cheers stating **21**. The bartender again ignored them ...

Prince Phillip has finally apologised to the crash victim saying he’s deeply sorry...

Only took him 21 years

An interviewer’s taxi stops in front of a prison...

The interviewer asks: “could you wait for me here?” Then the taxi driver says: “no, forget it! The last time someone asked me that he came out 21 years later!”

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By the old farm

About to hit forties, a successful business man from New York wants to get married. He wants a pretty and young girl, around 21 years old to show off to his fellow business men. However, as a religious man, he is looking for a virgin, which are kinda hard to find this days.

So he heads up to ...

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[NSFW] Their Honeymoon

So,

There is a man and his wife on their honeymoon and he slips a shoebox under the bed before they 'get down to business'.
'Now honey,' The husband says, 'Whatever you do, don't open that box. You must not, under any circumstances, open that box'

The wife thinks this is a s...

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[NSFW] A man is queuing at the supermarket

when the woman behind him taps on his shoulder:
"You know I have one of your children? He is such a sweet child, smart and funny. And he looks just like you!"
Stunned the man replies: "What! How? That's impossible!"
"Oh don't worry I am so blessed to have him!"
Now very angered, the m...

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A little Texas joke

A young man in Oklahoma turns 21. Excited, he tells his father, “I want to finally go to Texas.”

His father warns, “Scooter, you’re a full-grown man, now. I can’t stop you from going to Texas. But I have to warn you… **EVERYTHING IS BIG IN TEXAS!** You can’t be prepared for how absolutely hug...

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