UPJOKE

20 Inch Jokes

The average horse weighs 1000lbs and has a 20 inch D. That’s a ratio of 50lbs to 1 inch.

So an average man weighing 200lbs only needs a 4 inch D to be hung like a horse.

Be proud fellas

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Steve with 25 inch Long penis to God : I can’t live with this long penis.

God : Go to that Lake,
You will find a Female Frog. Ask her to marry you,
she’ll say No & you will Lose 5 inch.

Steve Went & asked the Frog : will you marry me?

Frog : No

He Lost 5 inches.

He thought 20 inch is still Long.

So he asked again : will you...

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Man faints in Elevator

A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and see's this HUGE Black guy standing next to him.

The big guy see's the little guy staring at him, looks down and says: "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch cock, 3 pound testicles, Turner Brown."

The little guy faints and fall...

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String to the penis

A couple was watching a documentary about an African tribe. They learned that when each male member of this particular tribe reaches a certain age, he has a string with a weight attached to it tied around his penis. After a while the weight stretches the penis until it's 20 inches long.

Later...

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An African, an American and an Asian guy get captured by tribals in a jungle.

The tribal chief tells them, “We will only let you go alive if the combined length of your penises adds up to 20 inches.”

The African steps up to the plate, whips out his genitalia and comes out at an impressive 14 inches.

The American goes next. He unzips his pants, sticks it out and...

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A man with a 25-inch long penis

goes to his doctor to complain that he is unable to get any women to have sex with him. They all tell him that his penis is too long.

"Doctor," he asks in total frustration, "Is there any way you can shorten it?"

The doctor replies, "Medically son, there is nothing I can do. But, I do...

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So a black guy and a Latino guy and an Asian guy are all walking together!

A man walks up to them with a knife and says “if your dick sizes don’t add up to 20 inches, then you’re all getting stabbed”. The black guy pulls it out and it’s 12 inches. The Latino guy pulls it out and it’s 7 inches. The Asian guys pulls it out and it’s 1 inch. The man with the knife says “you’re...

Snakes are the fastest growing animals, said a kid to his father.

The father: how did you know ?

The kid: my old brother killed a 40-inch-long snake, and everytime he tells the story the snake's length increases by 20 inches.

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The boy with the 25 inches long penis ...

The boy with the 25 inches long penis decided that he had had way too much. He was now fed up of being the subject of constant jokes of his friends, relatives and many-a-times, complete strangers.

There was a time when he was proud of his unusually long penis, thinking of it as an indicat...

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Be careful what you wish for...

So a man finds out that there is a lost tribe somewhere in the forests of South America, women of which have vaginas that are 3 inches wide and 20 inches deep. Fascinated by the fact, the man quits his job, sells everything, and sets out on a quest to locate these women, with vaginas that are 3 inch...

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Three men are marooned on an island...

Three men are marooned on an island desperately seeking a way to get off.
A cannibal approaches them and flops his penis out. 'If the length of your three penises together is as big as mine, then I'll show you how to get off the island. Otherwise you'll be killed and eaten.' The native's nob was...

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Longer Each Day

Ralph awoke one day to realize that his member had inexplicably been growing larger and staying erect longer with each passing day. He was delighted, as was his wife. But after several weeks, his sex organ had grown to nearly 20 inches and Ralph became quite concerned. He was having problems dressin...

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A black guy walks into an elevator.

A skinny white guy enters a elevator. He presses floor No.4, and waits for him to arrive. The elevator stops at floor No.2, and a huge, muscular black guy comes in and stands in front of him. The white guy stares him down. The black guy, already knowing what he would ask, says "6'9, 250lbs, 20 inch ...

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3 men shipwrecked on desert island

(Beer garden banter joke. Works best when you use yourself and people you know as the protagonists, just replace names and choose the butt of the joke)

3 men get shipwrecked on a desert island.
Their boat ruined they head in-land to find salvation, when out of the trees lunges a huge 7 fo...

My wife told me not to worry about her ex, because he was hung like a baby.

That made me feel better until I ran into him at the gym, and saw that it's 20 inches long, and weighs 9 pounds.

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Emily was 30 years old, and really flatchested

Emily was 30 years old, and really flatchested. Depspite bad confidence she headed to a pub on a Saturday night.

After a little while at the pub a handsome man stood by her and asked ”why do you look so sad?”. Well.. Said Emily, you see.. I’ts because I look like a newborn girl in the chest...

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An African, an Indian and a Chinese...

were hiking in the rainforest when they were captured by a tribe of savages. All tied up and about to be killed the chief told them the only way he'll let them go is if their dicks add up to 20 inches in length. The African whips his out and and it's an impressive 11 inches, the Indian pulls his out...

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Bill Clinton, George Bush and Donald Trump Are On A Road Trip...

their car runs out of gas and they walk to the nearest gas station. At the pump they realize that non of them brought any money with them.

They ask the attendant for some free gas and the Attendant says "no way this is 'murica nothing is free, but if you all take our pants off and let me mea...

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Three men are walking through the jungle, Mr. A, Mr. B and Mr. C.

Three men are walking through the jungle, Mr. A, Mr. B and Mr. C.

Suddenly the 3 men are surrounded by a group of natives and quickly escorted back to the tribal leader.

The tribal leader says "in order to survive you must pass a test. If the total length of your penises doesn't add up...

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Like a baby

A newlywed couple who have decided to wait until marriage, are getting undressed together for the first time. Before they get started, the man says, "I don't want you to be surprised - my dick... It's like a baby". The woman's face turns serious for a second as she thinks about it, and then she smil...

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Sexy cop story

So 3 guys were riding down the road and got pulled over by a sexy ass cop. They were in for a hell of a lot of trouble. There tag was out. They had a busted tail light. They didn’t even have insurance. So the cop walks up and says if they can show her 20 inches of dick then she’ll let them go, so th...

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You are driving in a car at a constant speed

On your left side is a 'drop off', (The ground is 18-20 inches below the level you are traveling on)on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you. In front of you is a galloping horse, which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is a galloping z...

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NOT for the faint of heart!!

A small, skinny white guy got onto an elevator.

Just as the doors were closing, a huge, black dude walked on and stood next to him.

The big black guy looked down at the small white guy and said, "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 4 pound left ball, 4 pound right ball, Turner Bro...

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The frog

A man goes into a doctors office to complain about a problem he has been having. He has a 25 inch penis. He complained that it was getting in the way and he was tired of people looking at him due to his modest nature. Unfortunately for him, the doctor had only experienced patients who want to enlarg...

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(NSFW) A man looks to shorten his "size"

There once was a man whose penis was 25 inches in size. He was unable to have sex and searched for a cure.

He hears from a friend about a woman who can shorten penis size with her magic. He was skeptical and reluctant, but eventually he travels to the woman's home.

Once he gets there ...

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[NSFW] A man faces judgement after stealing a loaf of bread.

He is thrown to the floor infront of a Judge, who announces, "The prisoner is to be hung, immediately". The guards pick up the man and drag him out.

A week passes and the same man is thrown infront of the Judge, having been caught stealing more bread.

"GUARDS!!" Shouts the Judge, "Em...

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A man goes to the Doctor

A man goes to the doctor with a severe speech disorder, determined to discover it's origins.

After many, many tests the doctor comes in with a solemn look on his face.

"werp ducktor, waths da calls of my Airelments?!" The man asked.

The doctor replied. "It appears that your spe...

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For the last time, NO! NO! NOOOO!

So, there's this man. He's young, healthy, reasonably attractive, good job, etc.

Only problem is, he has a 25 inch penis. This might might sound great if you're a 12 year old, but it soon becomes the bane of his existence. Every time he meets a nice lady, eventually things lead to the bedroom...

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A man has a 25 inch penis

A man has a 25 inch penis. This is much too long, and he is never able to get any satisfaction from his relationships, and had grown tired of accidentally hurting his partners. So, one day he decides to do something about it. He goes to the doctor, and asks if the doctor can shrink his penis. The do...

A man enters a variety show

With his miniature companion, a small foot tall man and a miniature piano, not more than 20 inches across.

The mini man sits at his mini stool and plays the piano perfectly-- a classic Motzart concerto.

He wins the $5,000 top prize and the emcee asks, "So how did you come across a min...

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Two mercenaries

Two mercenaries are lost in an African jungle. They are caught by tribesmen and brought before their chief.
The chief says "choose your punishment . Either Zhinga la la or death. "
The first mercenary thinks to himself that anything is better than death. He says "I choose Zhinga la la."
...

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Man with big problem.

Joe was a good looking, successful lawyer. He had a nice house, a fast car, and loads of money. He also had a big problem - his penis was 50 inches long. Joe was charming enough to bring a lady home but they would always run away at the sight of his enormous manhood. So Joe began looking for surgery...

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