UPJOKE

130 Pound Jokes

My doctor said "You need to get rid of 130 pounds of unhealthy fat"...

.. So I called a divorce lawyer.

This joke may contain profanity. šŸ¤”

Farm kid writes letter home after joining Marines....

Dear Ma and Pa:

I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am ge...

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Frank takes his hot blind date, Heather, to an amusement park.

Frank and Heather agree that Heather should decide on the first thing to do, then Frank, then Heather, then Frank and so on.

"What do you want to do first?" asks Frank. "I want to get weighed," replies Heather.

So Frank takes Heather to the weight guesser. "Let me guess," says the weig...

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A Burglar breaks into a house through the basement.

As he climbs through the window he hears

"Jesus sees you."

Startled, the burglar frantically looks for a light switch and turns on the lights revealing a parrot.

"Jesus sees you and he's angry!" The parrot screeches.

The burglar scoffs and continues to creep upstairs as h...

I want to get weighed.

Joe took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked Joe. "I want to get weighed," she said. They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 130 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 110 and she won a prize.

Next the couple went on the ferris wheel. When t...

A good joke for a date

Joe takes Kelly to a carnival on a blind date. Joe asks, "what would you like to do first?" and Kelly replies, "I want to get weighed." So they visit the weight guesser who predicts that Kelly weighs 130 pounds. Since she only weighs 110 pounds, Kelly wins a stuffed animal.
Joe asks what she wou...

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