UPJOKE

Today I am celebrating 100 days without alcohol!

Not consecutively, though.
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I am a 100 days sober!

...
Not in a row or anything, just total.
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To sum up Trump's 100 days...

(unintelligible)
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I told my husband there are 100 days until our baby's delivery

He said "That's a really long time. You should really use Prime next time".
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-Trump's top agenda for his first 100 days in office :

make everyone use "bigly" in conversations so he doesn't look like a fool for being the only one who uses this word .
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Jack was very fat and his wife was worried about him, so she made him see the doctor...

The doctor weighed him and said, "You must lose 30 kg. Eat only fruits and vegetables and jog 5 km a day for the next 100 days. Then give me a call and tell me how much you weigh."
Jack went home and did what the doctor told him. 100 days later, Jack called the doctor.
"Jack here. Y...
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If Gandhi went on a 100 day journey with no shoes or toiletries...

... he would be a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis
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