UPJOKE

10 Shot Jokes

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A guy walks into a bar and says. "Give me 10 shots of tequila, line 'em up!"

The bartender does and the guy proceeds to slam the 10 shots down at machine gun pace. The bartender says, "Damn man, what's all this for?"

The guys says, "My first blowjob." The bartender says, "Well shit dude, that's something to celebrate, have another on the house!" The guy says, "No than...

A man walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of the finest whiskey...

...the bartender looks at him a bit weird since he's alone, but pours the man a shot. The guy says, no, I'd like them all lined up, ready to go. The bartender this this is a bit odd, but the bar is empty, and figures, why not, this guy probably had a rough day or something. The man starts with the f...

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My cake day joke - A man goes to a bar and orders 10 shots of jaeger. The bartender says wow, thats a lot, you celebrating?

The man says yes! My first blowjob!

The bartender says congrats! Why 10?

The man says *if that won't get the taste out, nothing will.*

10 shots of whiskey please!

A man walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of whiskey. The bartender pours them and the guy starts downing them. By the 5th one the bartender asks, "Why are you drinking so fast?"

The guy says, "You'd drink this fast if you had what I have."

The bartender says, "What do you have?"
<...

A guy walks into the bar and looks the bartender in the eye and says "I need 10 shots"

The bartender lays them out and the man takes all 10 shots back to back.

In shock the bartender says, "I've never seen anyone drink like that before."

The man replies, "You'd drink like that too if you had what I had."

Sounding concerned, the bartender asks "Oh I'm sorry to hea...

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This man walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks: "What's the matter?"...

"I found out my brother is gay"

The next day the same man goes to the bar and orders 15 shots of whiskey. The bartenders asks: "You're back. What's wrong this time?"

"I found out that my son is gay."

The next day, the same man goes to the bar again and orders 20 shots of whiske...

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A bloke walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of tequila.

He downs them one after the other, slamming the glasses on the bar.

"Never seen anyone do that before, is it a special occasion?" asked the barman.

"Yeah" answered the bloke. "First blowjob today."

"Congrats" said the barman. "Have another one on the house."

"No thanks" r...

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A man walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of vodka

After the shots are lined in front of him, he asks the bartender to remove the first and the last one

“Why order ten shots and then remove two?” — asks the bartender — “Why not just order eight?”

-That’s how it is with shots! The first one always tastes bad and the last one always gets...

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A man walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of tequila.

The bartender looks up and says: "Wow, have you got something to celebrate?", after which he poors the shots.
The man replies: "Yes, my first blowjob!" and takes the first shot.
Bartender: "Well, congratulations! Here, have another on the house!".
The man shakes his head and says: "Nah, ...

Guy walks into a bar and orders 10 shots.

Bartender is amazed and says "really? Ten shots? All in a row? Right now?"

The fella nods and says "yeah, if you had what I have you'd want ten as well."

The shots get poured, the guy slams them, one after another within the space of a minute, then sits there, pale and a sick look on h...

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A man walkes into a bar and orders 10 shots of Jack

The bartender asked the man "you waitin on some friends or what" as he pours up the shots.

"No my friend, these are all for me" he says and begins downing the shots one after another.

The bartender is shocked and asks "why take so many shots and so quick like that?"

The man say...

Self-discipline is drinking 10 shots of tequila

and making it back to the right home.

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10 shots of vodka...

A young man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 10 shots of vodka. The bartender shakes his head and says "Hold on pal, that's a lot of vodka... what's the special occasion?" The young man grins and says "My first blowjob."

The bartender congratulates him and says "You know, that is ...

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Guy walks into a bar asking 10 shots of tequila

So the bartender asks what's the occasion. The guy replies he just had his first blow job. Bartender feels happy for the guy and says "first one is on the house". Guy replied "if 10 can't wash the taste off my mouth, I don't see how 11th would help"

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A guy walks into a bar and asks for 10 shots of the establishment’s finest single malt scotch. The bartender sets him up, and the guy takes the first shot in the row and pours it on the floor. He then takes the last shot in the row and does the same. The bartender asks, “Why did you do that?”

the guy replies, “Well the first shot always tastes like crap, and the last one always makes me sick!”

An American walks into an Irish bar.

While on vacation, an American walks into an Irish pub and orders a drink. After a minute he says out loud, "I'll bet anyone in here $1,000 if they can take 10 shots of Jameson in a row, without stopping or vomiting." The bar gets quiet except for one man who gets up and walks out. The American laug...

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A guy runs into a bar, straight up to the bartender, and yells "Quick! 10 shots of your finest vodka!"

The bartender quickly prepares 10 shots and watches in amazement as the guy takes all 10, one after another, without barely breathing in between them.

The guy lets out a huge sigh and puts his head down on the bar, saying "Thanks, I really needed that."

The bartender says "wow, man! I'...

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A guy hears about an "impossible to hunt" bear.

So he decides to go and hunt it.
He goes with his normal rifle and hides on the forest until he sees the bear. He shoots three times, but doesnt hit the bear.
The bear turns back, stands, looks at the now scared guy, nods, and walks slowly to him.
- you just shoot me!- says the bear.
-e...

Best Finnish joke i know (Does not involve snipers)

2 Finnish Longshoremen complete their hard days work at the port of Kuopio on payday, and decide to go to the local bar to have a fun night.

No words are spoken as they sit down. They look at the bar keep, and one raises his hand, with 2 fingers up.

The bar keep brings 2 shots of Vod...

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Golf with the boss

A man and his boss skip work one weekday afternoon for a round of golf. They tee off at 1:00 and after 2 holes they catch up to a twosome of women. The women are playing unbearably slowly.

After waiting nearly an hour to play a hole, the men discuss how to get around these slow-playing wome...

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a young man walks into a bar

A young man walks into a bar and asks for 10 shots of his cheapest whiskey.

As the bar tender is lining up the shot glasses and is pouring "what's the occasion"?

The young man replied "I just experienced my first blow job".

"So you celebrating"? asked the bar tender.

No.....

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The man and the crocodile

A man walked into a bar that was offering a £10,000 reward for anyone who completed a 3 part challenge. The man was homeless and poor so agreed to the challenge. The bar owner explained all he had to do was 10 shots, then head out back where he had to remove the sore tooth from a crocodiles mouth. F...

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A man walks into a bar

and seats himself at the bar and spots a big jug full of money behind the bar on the shelf with a note on it " Ask the bartender"

So the guy ask the bartender " What's with the jug full of money?"

Bartender says" well it's a series of challenges. First you have to do 10 shots of this...

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Two guys walk into a bar

Two guys walk into a bar and sit down at a table.
The barkeep comes over to them and asks, "What can I serve you gentlemen?"

One of them says to the barkeep, "I'll bet you a pitcher of your finest beer that I can lick my eye."

The barkeep says, "I've had guys come in here that could...

Guy walks into a bar. (yes another one)

Guy walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of tequila "line em up".
Guy starts slamming the shots one after the other.
Bartender says "Hey, slow down buddy!"
Guy says "No way, If you had what I had you'd be drinkin' this fast too."
Bartender says "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know. What have yo...

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You would do the same thing if you had what I have...

A man walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of tequila. Just as the bartender pours the last one, the man starts slamming them all down, one after the other. The bartender says "Holy Shit, man. What could possess you to drink like that?" The man says, "You would do the same thing if you had what I ...

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The Tough Man Contest

A man walks into a bar and is greeted by a woman. The woman asks the man if he would like to partake in the tough man contest. He agrees, and asks her how to win.

She says, "Well, first you'll have to pour yourself 10 shots of whiskey, knock that guy out cold at the bar, pull the dogs rotten ...

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A man walks into a bar...

He orders 10 shots, then 9, then 8, then 7 and so on and he thinks to himself: "Fucking weird. The less I drink the drunker I get."

A Russian platoon is hiking through the wood...

...when suddenly the point man drops dead from a bullet through his head. The Commander orders the platoon to halt and take cover, when they hear a voice echo through the forest from behind a nearby ridge.

"1 Finnish sniper is worth 5 Russian soldiers!"

Stunned by this ridiculous claim...

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