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Error 4:04

Sleep not found

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So Land O’Lakes got rid of the Native American on their package...

...But kept the land. Sounds oddly familiar.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I don't support Trump, but I would never denigrate his supporters

If you're a Trump supporter, "denigrate" means "to put down."

A Priest, a Doctor, and an Engineer are playing golf

An engineer, a priest, and a doctor are trying to enjoying a round of golf. Ahead of them is a group playing so slowly and inexpertly that in frustration the three ask the greenkeeper for an explanation. “That’s a group of blind firefighters,” they are told. “They lost their sight saving our clubhou...

I woke up at 4:04 last night...

I was completely lost.

Why are Americans so slow to celebrate 07/04?

I mean, it was the 7th of April months ago...

What did the town crier say when the knight’s attendant went missing in the afternoon?

Its 4:04, page not found!!

A lot of people call Valentine’s Day “singles awareness day,” but that’s actually today

4/04 date not found

I asked a girl what time she'd be free for a date

She said 4:04



Guess she couldn't find the time.

I found myself wide awake early this morning and couldn’t get back to sleep. I checked the time.

4:04
Sleep not found

Some laws that we didn't learn at school

01. *LORENZ'S LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR*

Once your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

02. *ANTHONY'S LAW OF THE WORKSHOP*

Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

03. *KOVAC'S CONUNDRUM*

When u dial a wrong numbe...

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I made a list of my favorite anti-jokes. The first 10 are great but the last one is fucking gold.

01) great

02) great

03) great

04) great

05) great

06) great

07) great

08) great

09) great

10) great

11) fucking gold

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

**I've worked out this Corona Virus!!!**

**IT'S BEEN CREATED BY WOMEN!!!**

***Think about it.....***

01, No Sports.

02, All Pubs to shut.

03, 14 Days Quarantine *(so you can finally get those odd jobs done)*

04, Symptoms of Corona are flu like ......  THEY K...

99¢ condom

A young guy walks into a drugstore to buy a condom. He sees they are on sale for 99¢ each and luckily he has $1 on him. He gives the condom to the clerk.

Clerk: That'll be $1.04

Guy: I thought they were on sale for 99¢. What's the extra 5¢ for?

Clerk: Tax

Guy: Tacks!? I t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Zebra with body dysmorphia goes to the doctor...

Tells the doctor he spends hours a day critiquing himself in the mirror.



Doctor replies, 'It's simple. Stop looking at things in black and white.'





\- Technical Crab, 04/3/19 circa afternoon shit.

A farmer walked into a attorney's office wanting to file for a divorce...

The farmer said; "Yea, I want to get me one of those Day-vorces."

The attorney said; "Do you have any grounds?"

The farmer said; "Yea, I got about 140 acres."

The attorney said; "No sir, you don't understand, do you have a case?"

The farmer said; "No I don't have a ca...

A joke I made on the spot to my piano teacher

Me: Hey, so by the way, I’m not going to be able to come to practice April 4th, I got a robotics meeting that day (I actually did have that, this wasn’t just added in for me to make the joke)

Piano teacher: Alright, no problem, let me just write that down.

Me, in a stroke of genius: I ...

The CIA is testing recruits

Out of more than 300 who aspired to become elite special agents only three made it to the final test: Two men and a woman. During weeks in which they reached and exceeded physical and psychological limits they proved time and time again that they are better than all others. Now, they are facing the ...

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