UPJOKE
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Whats wet on the inside and hairy on the outside. It starts with 'C', ends with 'T', and has a 'U' and an 'N' in the middle.

Coconut.

Dice. My favorite Dice rhyme: "Jack 'n Jill went up the hill, both wit a buck 'n a quarter..."

... Jill came down wit two fifty

Interviewer: "Do you like rock 'n' roll"

Sisyphus: "Not even a bit."

Do you know what the 'N' on Nebraska's football helmet stands for?

Knowledge.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Rick had been in police work for 25 years.

Finally sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet.
After six months or so of almost total isolation,someone knocks on his door....

A Newfie had caught two lobsters and was walking home along the coast ...

... when a cop drove by and saw him. The cop pulled over and stopped the man.

"Sir, are you aware it's not lobster season, and it's illegal to fish lobsters?"

"Me son," the Newfie said. "I didn't fish 'em. Deez lobsters are me pets."

"Sir, no one keeps lobsters as pets. I'll ha...

Nicki Minaj is pregnant with Sam 'n Ella twins.

After apparently a guy named Romaine tossed her salad.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hillbilly Stripper

Cletus is passing by Billy Bob's hay barn one day when, through a gap in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old John Deere tractor.

He performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides off first the right strap of his overalls, followed by the left. He t...

Einstein, Tesla, Newton, and Pascal are all playing Hide 'N Seek

It is Einstein's turn to be it. So he covers his eyes and slowly counts to 20.

Tesla climbs up a tree, Pascal jumps behind a bush, and Newton stands right where he is and draws a 1m x 1m square around him.

"...eighteen, nineteen, twenty! Ready or not, here I come!" exclaims Einstein....

MEN 'N' LIGHTBULBS

How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, men will screw anything.

Who is 'N Sync's favourite film maker?

Michael Bay Bay Bay

Sam 'n' Eric decide to be more grown up by cursing...

Their mother wakes them for breakfast, and asks them what they want to eat.
Sam says "Aw, hell, gimme some Cheerios."
Furious, his mother backhands him across the kitchen, turns to Eric and asks "What do *you* want to eat?"
Eric stammers "I-I-I dunno, but it sure ain't gonna be n...

The captain asks a seamen to tell him how "2" is written in Latin.

The seamen replies "Aye aye, capt'n!"

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