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Suicides Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guy walks into a library and asks the librarian for a book on committing suicide

She responds "fuck off, you won't bring it back"

A peach murder-suicides his wife and children…

Three days later, a pineapple detective arrives to the crime scene and begins to observe the deteriorated remains of the family.

Pineapple says, “well that’s just the pits.”

Jeffery Epstein likes his video games like he likes his suicides

Co-op

Disturbing Pattern of Suicides

When some scientists plotted the number of suicides per year, they discovered a curious pattern. Every four years, there would be a spike in the number.

This baffled them, until the old janitor said: "Perhaps it was not a good idea to call them leap years."

What do you call it when Drake suicides?

Jumpman, jumpman, jumpman, jumpman

I like my exes suicides how I like my whiskey

On the rocks.

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