UPJOKE
thrustpushforceraisepressjostlecalisthenicsupliftpressureboostnudgeshovetowardunpushingjut

Push Up Jokes

I bought a new deodorant yesterday. The instructions said "Remove cap and push up bottom"

It hurt like hell, but my farts smell great.

Dogs are forever in the push up postion.

A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

RIP to one of my favorite comedians, Mitch Hedberg. The king of one liners

I got a new stick of deodorant today. The instructions say remove cap and push up bottom.

I can barely walk, but when I fart, the room smells lovely.

I bought a push up bra today...

It didn't work, I can still only do 2...

Why can't t-rexs do push ups?

Because they have been extinct for 65 million years.

What does a push up bra and a dictatorship have in common?

They both oppress those on the inside. They both lie to those on the outside. And they both raise monuments to the fallen.

Why does Beyonce' not wear a push up bra?

She already has the biggest hits.

What's the first ingredient in a push up bra?

Start with two cups of lies.

Dave was doing push up in a garden noticed a man intently observing him...

Dave raised questioning eyebrows, the man said sorry to break it to you buddy but woman under you have long gone.

What does a push up bra and a bag of chip have in common?

Once open, you realise they are half-empty

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why can't the T-rex do any push ups?

Small arms? No it's because dinosaurs are extinct you dumbass.

A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks for bottom deodorant.

The assistant, a little bemused, explains to the woman they have never sold bottom deodorant. The blonde, unfazed, assures the lady behind the counter, that she has been buying the stuff from here on a regular basis, and would like some more.

The shop assistant thinks for a minute, knowing fu...

By The Great Mitch Hedberg.

"A dog is forever in a push up postion".

Bench Bros...

Two guys are in the gym working on their bench pressing when a busty coed comes up to the rack next to them and begins to do her workout. One guy turns to his spotter and says "hey you think that's a push up bra?" And his spotter says "nah brah, that's a squat"

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.