(This is also true, she was born around 2:30 this morning and baby and mama are doing well).
What's the Difference Between February 14th and July 4th?
There isn't any, at least to me, because they're both Independence Day.
How do you prevent someone from being killed on July 4th?
Kill them by July 3rd
A Slovenian, American and German are bragging, who has the fastest workers …
German says, we start developing a brand new Mercedes in August, I can already drive my wife in it to Octoberfest.
American says, that is nothing, we start building a new rocket in June 20th, on July 4th is already on the way to Moon.
Slovenian says ha, rookies, we start building a new...
The FBI just thwarted a July 4th terrorist attack in Cleveland.
But they couldn't stop LeBron from dropping a bomb on the city last night.
Do not let the fact that today is July 4th distract you
From the fact that England blew a 13 colony lead
July 4th PSA: On one hand fireworks are a lot of fun.
On the other hand I only have 2 fingers.
Given social distancing regulations, a ton of condiment companies are being forced to cancel July 4th campaigns like sponsored concerts, where they planned to hand out signature color sunglasses to attendees.
Bad idea, Heinz-Sight 2020.
On a blind date, the girl told me, “Tell me a little bit about yourself.”
Me: I’m terrible with dates.
Her: Don’t worry. You’re doing fine so far.
Me: Christmas is on July 4th.
Cindy and Lucy were to high-powered DC lawyers.
They had been childhood friends, gone to the same law school, and gone into partnership together. Through their hard work, they became well known in the DC area and bumped elbows with politicians.
One summer, they decided to hold a fourth of july party and invite all the members of congress....
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
10 ISIS suicide bombers decided to blow up a building
"We must pick a building that will have a mass effect on western culture" the leader says. So they research all the popular websites they can find and have decided on the reddit headquarters.
"YES!!" Another exclaimed! "We can not only dismantle their social construct but we can all attack ...
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