Janitor Jokes - 54 Hilarious Janitor Jokes

Why was the janitor late for his job interview?

He over swept.

A janitor gets accepted into Nascar

His car goes "Broom, Broom"

There once was a boy named George Gunderson who did not do very well in school. His classmates ridiculed him every day, as did his teacher, Mrs. Jones. George couldn't stand it, and always came home crying to his parents.

One day, Mr. and Mrs. Gunderson decided to come to the school early to give Mrs. Jones a piece of her mind. The second the door opened to let the kids outside, Mr. and Mrs. Gunderson peeked inside to hear Mrs. Jones screaming at George. "George Gunderson, you are the dumbest kid in the world!"
...

How warm is a janitor's closet?

Broom Temperature.

A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy.

The fairy says “I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else’s job for a day.”

The professor says “I’ll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read?” so he is teleported into a classroom. After a few minutes, all the ki...

What does a janitor say when he jumps out of a closet?

Supplies!

What did the Janitor call his safety warning inspired metal band?

Slip not.

What does a Janitor have in common with Santa Claus?

Leave out some cookies for them and you'll receive better treatment.

The janitor at the zoo

A janitor at a zoo gets called into the managers office. The manager tells him they have to let him go due to budget issues. The janitor is set back and cries, "please, please let me keep my job! My mother is in the hospital and I have to pay her medical bills!" The manager scratches his chin for a ...

A man asks a janitor in his office...

"Hey, don't you get tired being just a janitor?"

The janitor is taken aback. "Excuse me, let me tell you that even if I'm just a janitor, I have a kid each in Harvard, MIT, and Princeton."

"Wow," the man is surprised, "what courses are they taking?"

"Nah, they're janitors too."

Today I was invited by a female janitor to smoke some weed at her apartment, but i politley declined.

I can’t deal with high maintenance women.

A Hollywood janitor decided to try his hand at directing

He's billing himself as "the director who swept the Oscars"

What did the barber tell the janitor at the end of the day?

Take hair!

My 8 year old thought of it after his hair cut last night. I hope it’s OC as he doesn’t have a Reddit account, yet.

A janitor, a waitress, and a bartender walk into a bar.

Then they open for the day.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The gym teacher gets a handgun, the janitor gets a shot gun, and the principal gets an uzi. What do they arm the lunch lady with?

A salt rifle

Janitor in the church

The church janitor is cleaning the large overhead ducts from the inside when he notices a nun praying by herself and decides to have some fun. With the echo and a booming voice he proclaims "your prayers will answered", but the nun doesnt even flinch. He tries again "my child, your sins are forgiv...

My father who is a janitor said his position at work was raised

He will be cleaning the 40th floor instead of the 39th.

What’s a German janitor’s favourite game?

Mein Sweeper.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the janitor pick up the poop from the floor?

Because it was his duty!

A man dies and finds himself in front of God. He sees Jesus sitting at his right hand and a janitor with a mop sitting to his left.

“Who are you?” the man asks the janitor.

“I’m Cleanliness.”

I went undercover as a Janitor to sabotage and spy on the Kremlin

You could call me a sweeper agent.

Saw a janitor wiping the handrail on an ascending escalator

He was cleaning up

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the janitor quit his job

He was tired of everyone’s .

What do you call a janitor in space?

A vacuum cleaner

why did elementary school kids ask their Hispanic janitor about Chinese currency?

Because it takes Juan to know Yuan!

A man walks into a job interview...

He sits down on a chair, and the interviewer starts questioning him.

"So son, where did you receive your education?"

The man replied "Yale".

The interviewer, pleasantly surprised, says "Yale? Hard to believe you went to Yale to become a janitor. So what's your name?"

The...

Johnson is a janitor for a big international company.

One day, as Johnson is sweeping the floors in the lobby of the main headquarters for the company, George Bush enters the building as he has a meeting with the CEO. He meets the CEO in the lobby but before entering the conference room, he greets Johnson, "Heeey Johnson! Nice to see you buddy!" After ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why should you never mess with a janitor cleaning a bathroom?

Cause when they plunge a toilet, goes down.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A high school janitor goes to the principal's office

He tells the principal how the girls won't stop kissing the bathroom mirrors everyday to leave their lipstick marks, and how it is difficult to clean. The principal announces over the loudspeaker at the beginning of the day and tells the culprits to stop immediately. Things just got worse after this...

What do you call it when a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog the restroom toilets?

Dereliction of doodie.

It's not right to assume that a janitor can clean your chimney.

You shouldn't make sweeping generalizations.

The janitor couldn't remember where he put the floor polisher

As a programmer, this isn't the first time I encountered a 'buffer allocation failure due to memory error'

The janitor at my work asked if I wanted to take a five minute break to go smoke weed with her.

I told her, 'No, I'm sorry, but I don't have time for a high maintainance woman."

Why should you vote a janitor into public office?

If you want them to make sweeping changes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day, the janitor at the zoo is approached by the manager...

"Look, janitor", says the manager. "Our most popular gorilla just died, and its gonna be a couple of weeks before our new gorilla ships in. The kids come from all over just to see this gorilla, and our admission sales are gonna drop dramatically if we don't have a gorilla for the rest of the quarter...

Why did the janitor with a speech impediment miss his shift?

He overswept

In The Military a janitor wanted to go out to the battlefield...

When the soldiers were getting ready for a battle the janitor told the general that he wanted to fight. The general gave him a broom and said "point this at the enemies and say 'bangity bang bang' and when they get close say 'stabbity stab stab'" "ok" the janitor replied. Once the janitor got out on...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Joe the janitor reports for his first night of work at a funeral home.

One of his first tasks is to sweep and mop the embalming room floor while the embalmer is eating dinner. Joe is alone in the room, out of curiousness he looks under the sheet covering a corpse on the embalmers table. The body lays face down. With a giant cork protruding from the . Joe taps on ...

Why did the janitor die?

He kicked the bucket

The School Janitor

Janitor: I know im just a school janitor, but my eldest son is in M.I.T., his younger brother in Princeton, and my youngest in Harvard.

Student: (amazed) Wow, what are they studying?

Janitor: Oh no, they are janitors as well.

A scientist, a doctor and a janitor discover an old lamp...

The scientist rubs the lamp and sure enough a genie pops out! "Thank you for releasing me!" said the genie, "You can have anything you like, providing you do one days work of a different profession. You may choose what you want to do." The scientist goes first, "Well I've always thought that being a...

My school janitor is a part-time pianist.

He has 88 keys.

The janitor at the bank managed to rob 21 million dollars.

He made a clean getaway!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What was the best part of the janitor’s job cleaning toilets at the comedy club?

The shits and giggles

Pepito was the dumbest kid in his classroom…

Pepito wasn’t a very bright kid. He often failed his tests and annoyed his teachers. One day, his teacher, Ms.Emily, told him he had one last chance to do well. Pepito took a test, but inevitable failed. Ms.Emily expelled him from school and told him he was the dumbest kid she had ever met. She made...

A woman walks in on the janitor using the women's washroom...

"What are you doing in here?"

"The men's room is filthy"

Why did the janitor file for a divorce?

He found his wife sweeping with someone else.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the Asian janitor?

First he wax on, then he wax off!

Today I saved a man drowning in the river

I tossed him a bar of soap and he washed ashore

Source: University Daytime Janitor

Once upon a time...

Once upon a time, there was a young man named Done. He was born and raised in the town of Moroccan. Done wasn't very smart, and he was always teased by his peers when he expressed his desire to become a doctor, especially by a disliked and harsh-tempered teacher who would yell at him, "You drive me ...

A homeless man was one day walking down an alleyway...

A homeless man was one day walking down an alleyway from which you could see the back gardens of these mansion like houses on the street. He looks into a garden and sees a man in a suit crying and looking at the pool.

The man in suit fills his pockets with rocks and suddenly jumps into the po...

Unnerving things to hear during a medical examination:

After examining you thoroughly I have some bad news. I’m the janitor..

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One Pope, in the Dark Ages, decreed that all Jews had to leave Rome...

...The Jews did not want to leave, and so the Pope challenged them to a disputation to prove that they could remain. No one, however wanted the responsibility… until the synagogue janitor, Moishe, volunteered.

As there was nobody else who wanted to go, Moishe was given the task. But because h...

By mistake his Phone rang in Church during prayers...

The Priest scolded him ...

After prayers, the congregation admonished him for interrupting the silence.

His wife lectured him on his carelessness until they got home.

One could see the shame, embarrassment n humiliation on his face !!

*He has never stepped into the Church...

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