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Health Plan Jokes

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Health Plans

There's a student in medical school who wants to specialize in sexual disorders, so he makes arrangements to visit the sexual disorder clinic. The chief doctor is showing him around, discussing cases and the facility, when the student sees a patient pleasuring himself right there in the hallway. "Wh...

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Always get a better health plan people..

The queen of England was visiting one of Canada's top hospitals, and during her tour of the floors she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating."Oh my god!", said the Queen, "That's disgraceful, what is the meaning of this???"The doctor leading the tour explains, "I'm sorry your ladyship,...

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A couple, both age 76, went to a sex therapist’s office. The doctor asked, “What can I do for you?”

The man said, “Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?” The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.


When the couple finished, the doctor said, “There’s nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse,” and charged them $80. This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appo...

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The Queen was touring a hospital

During her tour, accompanied by doctors, nurses, and hospital board members, she passed a room with a man furiously masturbating.

"OH MY! HOW INAPPROPRIATE!" she exclaims

"Your majesty, he suffers from a medical condition where he generates so much sperm his testicles will explode if ...

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A medical school graduate starts her residency in a hospital for unusual cases

On her first day, she’s getting a tour of the facility by her supervisor while she takes notes.

They make their way to a room with a man who is masturbating ferociously. The med school grad asks her supervisor, “What disease does this man have?”

“Oh, it’s a very rare disease in whi...

Three hillbillies are at work...

They’ve just been handed their new health benefits plan. Cletus starts reading it and says “Hey Billy-Bob, hey Bubba, check this part out, if we lose a finger at work we get $5000!”

Later that day, Billy-Bob and Bubba cut off Cletus’ finger. They collect their $5000, put the finger in a plast...

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The administrator of a hospital is getting a tour of the new wing.

They walk into a room and see a man masturbating furiously.

"What's the meaning of this!?" thunders the administrator.

The head nurse explains "This man has a serious prostate condition, sir. it is very important that he ejaculates 6 times a day."

"Oh - so sorry, excuse us!" sa...

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A Philanthropist visits the hospital

There was a very rich lady who gave most of her fortune to a hospital so the Chief of Staff gave her a special tour.

As they are passing one room she sees a man furiously jacking off in the corner.

“That’s disgusting “ she says but the doctor explains the the man has a rare disease th...

A resignation letter to my boss

I have enjoyed working here these past several years. You have paid me very well and given me benefits beyond belief. Have 3-4 months off per year and a pension plan that will pay my salary till the day I die and then pay my estate one year salary death bonus and then continue to pay my spouse my ...

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A medical student decided to study sexual dysfunction as his speciality.....

On his first day in the hospital, the chief doctor decided to show him around and to start teaching his new student about this area of medicine. As part of the training, the chief doctor decided to bring the student around to all the patients in his wing so the student could see firsthand some of th...

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Extreme Sexual Disorder

A group of young doctors are on psychiatric residency. On the first day the senior ward psychiatrist tells them to peer into the window of a room. The take a peek and to their dismay they see a man frantically masturbating in the most violent of ways.

They ask the psychiatrist what's wrong wi...

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The First Lady is touring a hospital......

...and wants to go into the "Special Cases" ward. The head doctor looks a little nervous, but agrees and takes her into the ward. Inside the first room they come to, she spies a man on a bed, red-faced and puffing loudly as he masturbates at a furious pace.
Shocked, the First Lady scowls at the d...

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