UPJOKE
incipitbookpublishingnameauthorsubtitlespinework of arttorahworking titleshort titleiliadlong titletroylibrary catalog

I bought a book titled “How to Solve Half Your Problems.”

I read it twice, now I’m problem free.

I got a great deal and paid only $6 for a book titled “100 Truly Disgusting Jokes.”

If you break it down per joke, I only paid for the author’s 6 cents of humor.

I got a book titled ‘A Guide to Surgical Procedures’.

I opened it up and the appendix was missing.

I wrote a book titled ‘Do Not Touch’.

Sales have done very well, except for the Braille prints.

Book titles and authors: Don’t fall off the cliff

By Ilene Dover

I was really excited when I picked up a book titled “69 Mating positions”.

Turns out it was about chess.

I just bought a book titled "What They Don't Teach You About Computer Science"

Its literally just about anger management

My favourite thing to do is to walk into book stores and say “Hello! I'm looking for a book titled ‘How to deal with rejection without killing’.”

“Do you have it?”

I've just finished reading a brilliant book titled, "How to avoid getting ripped off".

Best $600 I have ever spent!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hitler took the world’s oldest joke and wrote a whole book Titled:

Made Jew Look

I bought the book titled "How to beat procrastination" to fix my procrastinating habit.

It's been 5 months already and I haven't opened that book yet.

I'm reading a book titled "The Indestructible Dog".

I just can't put it down.

When I was in the library, I found a book titled ''How to solve 50% of your problems.''

So i bought two books.

A woman gets up in the morning

wakes up her husband and says:
- Honey, I had a wonderful dream. I dreamed you gave me a diamond necklace for my birthday. What does it mean?
The husband answers:
- You'll know it on your birthday.
The wife's birthday arrives and the husband enters the house with a package in his hand. T...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A joung Jew loved to read books

He loved to read so much that he read all of the books in the library in his town. So one day he went to a bookstore and asked if they had a book that he haven't read yet. An old Jew that worked there said yes and handed the boy a strange, covered in dust book titled "DEATH". He said to the boy: ...

A women took a nap on New Years Eve...

A women took a nap on New Years Eve.

When she woke up, she told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond ring for a New Year’s present. What do you think it all means?”

He replied, “Aha, you’ll know tonight!” At midnight, her husband handed her a small gift-wrapped pres...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bobby hopped on the train and found a vacant seat.

After sitting down, he looked around the carriage and observed an attractive woman seated across from himself, reading a book titled "Sexual statistics."



A little intimidated at first, Bobby finally plucked up some courage and initiated conversation.



"Hi, that looks lik...

Yesterday I gave my food to a beggar.....

....and today the beggar gave me a book titled "HOW TO COOK".

I’ve heard the only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.

Which is a shame, because I was hoping to use it as a book title.

A door to door salesman knocked on a door and a woman answered.

Salesman - Hello. Would you like to buy a book titled '500 Excuses to Tell Your Wife After Staying Out Late'?

Woman - Why on earth would I buy a book like that?

Salesman - Because I sold a copy to your husband earlier today.

My wife told me over breakfast she dreamed I'd given her a diamond ring

"I wonder what it means," she said.

I smiled but said nothing and left for work.

That evening I brought her a small gift-wrapped package. Oh you should have seen how excited she was! Brought a tear to my eye.

She opened the present with trembling hands: a little book titled "How...

The strangest thing happened to me on the train today.

Found a book titled “How to increase your Memory Power” left behind on a seat.

Now, that’s irony!

It was a few days before Valentine’s Day and a young woman was taking an afternoon nap.

After she woke up, she told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s day! What do you think it means?”
Her husband smiled. “Oh, I have a feeling you’ll know later tonight.” he said with a wink.
His wife squealed with joy. That evening, the man came home w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy wanted to calculate volume of a red rubber ball...

There was a guy who wanted to know how to calculate the volume of a red rubber ball. He first took it to a mathematician, who measured its radius and used the formula V=4/3*pi*r^3 to find it's volume.
Next, our man went to a physicist, who immersed the ball in a bowl full of water. He then measur...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Man of the House . . .

A husband had just finished reading a new book titled, “You Can Be The Man Of Your House.”

He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, “From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I’m finished ...

A woman living on a shtetl in Poland goes to see her rabbi

"Rabbi!" she says. "My son Avram has a very strange fear - he is afraid of kreplach!"

The rabbi says, "Kreplach? He's afraid of the meat dumplings we make for Rosh Hashanah?"

She nods. "Yes. I've tried to tell him there's nothing to be afraid of, but whenever he sees kreplach he runs o...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.