Baseball Team Jokes

Because they took out the whole world with one bat

The Expos and The Yankees

Three stripes and you're out.

Because they ate all their bats.

He's the pitcher.

A Philly minyan

Pitcher. He gave his sermon on the mound.

She swallowed a fly.

They both need a good batter.

Except during the draft, then it's the Dodgers.

From day one, it was a foregone conclusion that it would be a cellar-dwelling team. Everyone on that team had a batting average of below .150, and not a single player scored a home-run. The defense was horrible; every outfielder was scared of fly-balls, the infielders couldn’t catch line drives to s... read more

Now we can finally call them the Cleveland Steamers.

She kept running away from the ball

None. They’re already on it.

...to raise money for a charity.

The day of the match arrived and everyone was ready. The celebrities were dressed in their outfits, some practising their throws and catches, others practising their swing. Russell Crowe was selected to umpire.

The match started, and the two teams, "The... read more

The coach replies, "what? No, the name is simply because the uniforms are brown. In fact, to avoid any signs of racism with the name, we don't allow any brown people on the team."

To help us get more runs than our opponent.

Because I hate dealing with parents.

Everyone wants to play first.

You two grew up together and were the best of friends. That friendship was like no other.

You both bonded over many things, but the hobby you both got into was baseball. You’d both play catch, practice your pitches, and even went to watch pro games together.

During high school, y... read more

Three men - Bob, Joe, and David - are bragging about their families. Bob and Joe are Catholic, and David is Mormon.

Joe says "I've got four athletic daughters. One more and I'll have a championship basketball team."

Bob responds "I've got eight athletic sons. One more and I'll have an... read more

I went to visit him for the first time. As we’re discussing the local baseball team, he starts slowly leaning to the right in his chair. A nurse come running over and straightens him back up.

As the topic turns to football, he slowly starts leaning to the left. The same nurse rushes over to s... read more

I got hired by my local baseball team to keep the players cool in the locker room. It was a difficult job because I'm not a fan.

After my dad died, my mom started dating a man who had just immigrated from France.

He wanted to get along with me so that my mom would like him more, and he knew I liked baseball, so he would play catch with me and encouraged me to join the school's baseball team.

He would always sa... read more

Jew: I have enough children to start my own baseball team.

Catholic: So What? When my wife delivers in the fall, I can start my own soccer team!

Mormon: I got you all beat. Two more wives and I’ll have my own private golf course.

A baseball team.

Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room,   while their wives were in labour.

The nurse tells the first man,   "Congratulations!   You're the father of twins!"

"What a coincidence!   I work for the Minnesota Twins baseball team!"

The nurse returns and t... read more

So on they talk until the Jewish guys starts talking about his sons and he says "well I got four sons and if I had one more I'd have a basketball team"

So on the catholic goes and says "that's nice but I have ten sons, one more and I'd have a baseball team"

So now they both look at thi... read more

Clown asks: "What do you call someone posing as a fake Italian chef? An im-pasta"

Man doesn't laugh

Clown asks: "What do you get when you cross a tiger and a bear? A tiger and a bear seeking revenge."

No response

Clown asks: "Which super hero asks the most questions? Wond... read more

The nurse enters and tells the first man, “Congratulations, you’re the father of twins!”



“What a coincidence,” the man says. “I work for the Minnesota Twins baseball team.”



A little later, the nurse returns and tells the second man, “You are the father of triplets!”
... read more

A loving couple was celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary, privately, at home with a couple of bottles of champagne.



A bit tipsy and feeling very intimate the husband turns to his wife and asks, "Tell me truthfully, have you ever been unfaithful to me?"



"Well," s... read more

Three pilots are bragging about the size of their planes. The British pilot says: "Well, our planes so huge that they carry 3 football teams and 3000 fans!"
The American pilot says: "Pff, OUR planes are so huge they can carry 5 baseball teams and 5000 fans!"
They look at the German pilot. He s... read more