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Israeli Army Jokes

Do you want to hear a joke about the Israeli army?

A general asks a young soldier, what will you do if you see 20 soldiers coming to attack you? The soldier says that I would take an Uzi and shoot them.

The general asks him what if a tank is coming to kill you? I would take a rocket launcher and defend myself replied the young soldier.
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What kind of combat training do the recruits in the Israeli army receive?

Jew-Jitsu.

I've been studying Israeli army martial arts.

I now know 16 different ways to kick a Palestinian woman in the back.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The new recruit

An Israeli soldier who had just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass.
The CO said "Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!"
So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tan...

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